Over the years, I've met several people that do not understand my desire to be distant from others and why I make no haste to regularly attend parties or events. As a result, I have received strange looks from people and pressuring comments to get out more, such as “you’re really missing out.” But am I really? I have witnessed the other side of the spectrum and it’s not as appealing as some people claim it is. Don’t get me wrong, I appreciate socialization, being in large groups, and connecting with my close friends, but being alone often provides me with a sense of liberation that I cannot achieve any other way. Here’s why:
1. I'm an introvert
As an introvert, I view social interaction as a rather draining experience. Sure, it’s quite enjoyable at times, but the stimulation takes a lot of energy away from me. Therefore, I rather spend much of my time unaccompanied.
2. I like to be immersed in my own thoughts
It’s quite common for others to impose their own beliefs and viewpoints on me even though they may have been uninvited. I’m relieved when I’m able to take a mental breather and run away with my own thoughts. Also, living with other people who have different patterns causes a great deal of distraction for me, especially in the morning because I value a lot of mental clarity during that time of day.
3. Silence
I don’t think much needs to be said. Sometimes silence is a beautiful thing that brings peace to my life.
4. I'm free to act without judgment
I’m free to make various decisions in my life without receiving alternative remarks about what I should and shouldn’t do. I’m typically quite good at solving my own problems, but my judgment can be easily clouded by the thoughts of others if I have not made up my mind yet.
5. I have difficulty connecting with others
Ever since I was a child, I’ve been very picky about the company I keep. It’s always been highly common for me to have only 1 or 2 friends at a time because it is difficult for me to connect with most people, regardless of age. Generally, I seek deep conversation and integrity from those around me, which can be hard to come by.
6. I can accomplish more tasks
I am easily distracted. Once I engage in conversation and activities with someone, it’s challenging for me to regain motivation to take care of my responsibilities that I had set for that day. For example, the other day, I felt bad for not wanting to speak to one of my close friends, so I answered the phone when he called. After getting off the phone, I felt exhausted and drained. All my chores for the day suddenly became uninteresting even though I was looking forward to completing them prior to the phone call. Without the distraction from others, I am free to give my full attention to my tasks and complete them at my own pace.
7. Too many people are set on misunderstanding me
I’ve encountered many people who have already developed their own perception of what life experiences I have undergone and what I think about numerous topics, which prevents them from comprehending anything about me. Instead, they are very adamant about misunderstanding me. This behavior makes them unpleasant to be around. Why should I bother engaging with them if they’re not going to listen to me?
8. I avoid as much negative stimulation as possible
I want to feel comfortable while being myself. When around a few close friends or family members, I can achieve comfort. However, in the company most people, I cannot. People often come with their own issues that they express upon others and are unable to avoid feeling the air with them. I simply have little to no tolerance for it.
9. I'm able to feel a greater connection with myself
I love being alone and having the ability to feel close to myself. My level of self-awareness and self-compassion increases when I’m in solitude.
10. I don't have to consider others when I go out
When I go out by myself I’m able to enjoy my time without the pressure of considering how someone else may feel: if they have other obligations, where they would like to go out to eat, if they would rather see one movie over another, etcetera. If I’m shopping, I can spend as much or as little time I would like in a store without the pressure from someone else to spend more money than I would like to.
Overall, I do enjoy the company and interaction with other people, but preferably when planned well in advance to allow me to take care of my obligations in time and to allow me to mentally prepare myself for social stimulation.
