I should probably preface this article by admitting that I am an English Major. But, I will caveat that I have a real issue with classical literature. That is, of course, another article for another time, but just know that I have to deal with Shakespeare a lot.

Shakespeare is an integral part of the literary cannon. His works completely changed the way we viewed theater and introduced so many incredible things to the English language. Yeah.... Shakespeare is great. But, I still want to punch him in the face. Listen.. I am not an aggressive person but if I saw him on the street I would probably sucker punch him. He is just annoying and has lost all respect from me as a Literature snob.

1. He is a cliche

The name Shakespeare is brought up at least once a day in nearly every conversation I have in the English world. We love the Bard of Avon, but he can kind of be a stick in the mud. You wouldn't believe the amount of people that ask much Shakespeare I have studied when I tell you I am an English major. But, truthfully, I spend the majority of my time studying other authors because Shakespeare is so well-known it is just a given I will understand him.

2. Society depends on him so much for superiority that his works have completely lost their meaning.

He has some well-written pieces but every high school freshman reads Romeo & Juliet, gets mad about the ending, and then forgets about it forever. The true meaning and language are lost in a need to fulfill a quota. Also, by requiring that schools teach Romeo & Juliet, Hamlet, and/or Macbeth, schools ignore many other fabulous playwrights that perhaps have more relatable pieces. But, that's just one English Major's opinion.

3. His background is a bit of a mystery

There is little background information on where good ole Willy came from. There is no birth certificate and very few details on his childhood. Some might find this intriguing but personally, I just am curious about what he has to hide. Did you rob a bank, Will? Leave someone at the alter and change your identity? This leaves me with so many unanswerable questions.

4. He supposedly has his ears pierced like he's in some sort of washed up hair band

Look... I love to flip my hair as much as the next girl but... those earrings? C'mon! Even my dad would be embarrassed to have earrings like that. Step up your earring game Bill. Then maybe I won't deck you.

5. The Facial Hair

Whenever a guy asks me if I like facial hair I immediately say it's up to them. But then I silently judge the guy if they keep it. I feel like I would do the same for Shakey here. Except... maybe not silently. What is going on? Either commit to the mustache or commit to the beard. Half-assing your whole facial accessory is embarrassing.

6. Romeo and Juliet is the most cliche story of all time and I am tired of it being referenced

Okay, so I admit this is not the original Will.i.am's fault, he still originated it. Plus, the story has been so bastardized over time that I can't help but spite Will.i.am for it. He had to have known. It is just really frustrating for me.

7. When Shakespeare died he only gave his wife Anne Hathaway his "Second best bed".

I mean... c'mon. This is about as pretentious as it gets. The love of your life gets your leftover bed. I just don't understand it, Billy. I really don't.

8. BBC Describes him as "Not of an age, but for all time."

I don't mean to sound like a bitter English major here but really? So many people have praised Shakespeare and sure he was great but perhaps were neglecting other amazing talents in order to praise good ole Spearehead

9. His works have been translated into Klingon

This one speaks for himself. I truly don't have anything else to say about this.

10. He is the first person everyone thinks about when it comes to literature.

Was Shakespeare talented? Absolutely! Did he write some truly incredible works? No contest. Is he worth all the hype? Maybe not. There are one million authors published each year. While many of these are fluff pieces, perhaps the reverence of Billiam is blinding us to the new voices.

Do I hate Shakespeare? Nah. He was probably an alright dude. But, I also can't say I wouldn't take him out if I saw him in real life. His works are pretentious and I am tired of him being the central figure in the literary canon. But, a girl can only dream.