As almost everyone knows, there are two types of people: cat lovers and people who believe cats are demon spawns from the fiery pits of hell. As a cat lover myself, it's hard for me to understand how anyone could resist their cute little faces, soothing purrs, and funny antics. So here are, in short, 10 reasons why cats are the best.
1.They are pest control.
Cats are natural hunters. This is evidenced by the many dead rodents or birds commonly found on beds, tables, or random places around the house. Sure, it may be a tad bit of an inconvenience having to clean up the bloody sheets and mice carcasses, but at least you know the mice are dead instead of alive somewhere chewing up your grandmother's antique dresser, right? It's almost like a twisted, sadistic karma for them. You destroy my furniture. My cat destroys your life.... Fair? Kind of? Okay, maybe this wasn't a good point.... But let's move on! I still have nine other points to convince you!
2. They tidy up after themselves.
They use their own litter boxes! You can't say the same for dogs, birds, or rabbits, which poop everywhere. Cats poop in a designated spot: their litter boxes. I mean, yeah, you still have to clean the litter boxes every week or so, but that's much easier than changing water for your fish every three days or scooping up after your dog every time he takes a dump. Although to be fair, sometimes cats end up peeing on furniture when they're hormonal or pooping on your pillows when they're mad at you, but that's really rare! Cats never randomly get mad for no reason.... Well, not never, but like, rarely, or.... Yeah, they get mad pretty often. I'm sure they're quick to forgive? Maybe?
3. They are fun.
Everyone has seen cats chasing after things like laser pointers, feather dusters, toy mice, etc. They're just funny to watch as you tease them with different thing, and they fall for your tricks every time. Their cute little butts wiggle in anticipation as their eyes lock on their target... What's not to love? Of course, sometimes when you're working and they want to play, they might get a bit overbearing, but there's no such thing as too much love, right?!
4. They are alarm clocks.
You can guarantee that you'll never wake up late if you have a cat. They're like clockwork every time. Every morning, same time, they're bound to get hungry or bored and wake you up for food or for play. And of course, once you're up to feed them, you might as well get up for the day and get ready for school or work...at 4:30 in the morning. But even if you are exhausted for the day, working your butt off while your cat sleeps through the rest of the day, you know you'll never be late in the morning!
5. They bathe themselves.
Unlike dogs, which you have to wash once or twice a month to keep them smelling decent, cats wash themselves. You don't need to approach them with soap and water to get the mud out of their fur because they lick themselves clean. Sure, they're going to cough up hairballs in the most inconvenient places to clean, but at least you don't have to face their sharp claws with only warm water and a bottle of kitty shampoo.
6. They are good at massages.
Cats knead things when they are relaxed, calm, and happy. If they happen to be laying on your back or your lap, you get to enjoy their relaxed, calm, happy massages for the low, low price of the sharp sting of claw every so often. Other than that, it's great!
7. They love you.
They love you enough to spare your life. Treasure them while they still tolerate your presence in exchange for food and shelter.
8. They remind you to take a break.
....Or ten. They know that you've been stressing out over that essay for two hours now, and yeah, maybe it's already 3 a.m. and your essay might be due tomorrow and it could possibly be the last grade before finals and you're probably going to fail if you don't finish it, BUT cats know when you just need to sit back, eat a snack, take a nap, and breathe a little. That's why they conveniently sit on your laptop when you should be finishing up. Cats care for you, and want you to stress less, so they prevent you from dying of exhaustion by preventing you from working at all. They know there can't be all work and no play. There's definitely no drawbacks to this. None. Apart from your inevitable failure.
9. They protect you.
Cats are secret ninja guardians that fend for their human companions. Why else do you think they attack half of your friends and rub against the legs of the other half? They obviously have good judgment for which people are worthy and which ones aren't good enough for you to hang out with. That's also why they do some of the annoying things that they do like destroying the monster hiding in your flowerpots and peeing on carpets to evict evil spirits and clawing out the demons living in couches.... Okay, I realize I sound kind of pathetic right now, defending cats when they're clearly just awful.... But I swear with the last reason I can definitely probably maybe convince you that cats are the best.
10. They are freaking adorable.
Why else do you think the internet is overrun by cat GIFs and cat memes and cat merchandise popping up in ads everywhere? It's because no logical human being can resist their angelic little faces! No matter how awful they seem to be, one GIF later, and you're sure to fall in love. I mean seriously, HOW CAN YOU RESIST THIS FACE???
But, if by some mysterious force, you're still not convinced by their cuteness, I'm just going to leave these here for your viewing pleasure:
