Going to the state fair is considered by many people a summer ritual, as much a part of the season as warm weather, barbecues and the smell of coconut suntan lotion. There are lots of reasons to go: the rickety, adrenaline-inducing amusement rides, the impossible-to-win carnival games with their promise of a larger-than-life stuffed animal tiger or on-the-verge-of-death gold fish, the entertainment (local dance groups, country music bands, etc.). And I don't think mentioning food, specifically greasy, artery-clogging, delicious junk food, in connection with the state fair is a novel idea. I'll admit that the fair staples (fresh-squeezed lemonade, elephant ears, hot-fudge sundaes) entice me to return to the fair year after year, even when the heat, crowds, and gaggles of screaming children might otherwise keep me away.
In recent years, state fair vendors have been in a sort of competition to create the greatest, greasiest, most disgustingly delectable fair offering. The result of this competition -- fried butter, fried cheeseburgers, fried anything and everything -- is enough to make any junk food lover's heart, and taste buds, sing. Vendors aren't content to just fire up the deep frier and go, each year the menus get more and more outlandish -- and ridiculous. Here are 10 photos from state fairs across this beautiful, cholesterol-loving nation that prove that summer state fairs are on the cutting edge of junk food invention and are essential destinations for any culinary connoisseur who could care less about calories, portion control, or, of course, fat content:
1. Deep-fried cookie dough.
An offering at the Indiana State Fair, this dessert is perfect for anyone who, as a kid, ignored their mother's repeated warnings to, "Stop eating the raw cookie dough, you're going to make yourself sick!," because, even if that happened, it was totally worth it.
2. Deep-fried and mac and cheese.
Iowa brings deep-fried mac and cheese to their State Fair, which is a good thing, in my opinion, because what else is there to look forward to about Iowa? Bonus points for getting a side of fried cheese curds.
3. Deep-fried peanut butter pickles.
Are you guys sensing a theme yet? The North Carolina State Fair combines three of my favorite things in this dish: pickles, peanut butter and deep frying. It's an unlikely yet irresistible combination of salty, sweat and dripping in grease.
4. Tot-chos.
Who doesn't like nachos, right? And I'm not talking about the food court, plastic-cheese variety either. I'm talking capital letter NACHOS with all the fixings: jalapenos, salsa, beans, cheese, onions and more. In fact, before seeing this I wasn't sure it even possible to improve upon a plate of really good nachos. The New York State Fair proved me wrong after they added (drum roll please) TATER TOTS in replacement of been-there-done-that plain-old chips. I may just move to New York after seeing this.
5. Alligator on a stick.
My current state of residence (Illinois) is really thinking outside of the box (or in this case, fridge) with this one, a dish more likely to be found in the Gulf of Florida than the Lincoln State. For only a few dollars, you can challenge your culinary boundaries with this deep-fried alligator on a stick. I can only assume the alligator is imported.
6. The Defibrillator.
This "burger" is aptly named by the New York State Fair because eating one of these might actually be dangerous for your heart. The cheese curds, bacon, and pickles are all deep-fried before being thrown atop a beef patty and sandwiched between two grilled cheese "buns."
7. Fish and chips on a stick.
If you're looking for something a little less sweet and a little more savory -- and international -- my home state of Wisconsin offers this entree at their fair. Take something that's already beloved, put it on a stick, and you have the ultimate tasty on-the-go snack.
8. Fried chicken and gravy in a waffle cone.
Thank God for Texas. I mean, no rundown of unhealthy fair food would be complete without a nod in the direction of the Big Star State. In the spirit of full disclosure, I've never understood the fascination with chicken and waffles -- although I didn't hate the Lay's potato chips, but if you are a fan, it's definitely worth a try. And again, you got to give them points for ingenuity and portability.
9. Caramel apple with sauteed mealworms.
This is another dish that, like deep fried alligator, might be toeing the line between delicious and disgusting. In fact, the Arizona State Fair may have overshot that line by a mile. You got to give them credit for some serious creative thinking, however. And hey, you don't know unless you try, right? Maybe mealworms taste just like chicken.
10. S'mores beer.
I saved the best for last. Brought to you by the great state of Minnesota, this one is only for the adults. This ultra-sweet s'mores-flavored beer comes with a marshmallow instead of a lime and, to top it all off, a graham cracker crust. Please drink responsibly and, perhaps, with a deep-fried Hershey bar.
