If you're a philosophy major, I'm sure you've experienced some (if not all) of these instances. If you're not a philosophy major, welcome. Here's a glimpse into just a few #philosophymajorprobs.
1. Yes, I am majoring in philosophy. No, it's not a double with something else "employable."
To my fellow philosophy majors, this is literally every interaction with at least three family members every single holiday vacation. To the rest of you, I'm sorry. It's not as patronizingly obnoxious as it seems.
2. I probably will go to grad school, but not because everyone is telling me to.
Not to be overconfident, but employers and grad programs — even ones that are not in philosophy — want philosophy majors because on top of learning about Aquinas and Heideggar and Neitzsche, etc, we learn how to think critically, how to be dang good writers, how to analyze literature, how to problem solve, how to analyze character, how to be efficient (hello, 7-10 page papers every two or so weeks), etc, etc, etc.
3. Seven to 10 page papers every two or so weeks.
Aristotle didn't finish (or start ...?) his papers until 3 a.m., too, right? Great. Thought so.
4. Ancient Philosophy equals a bunch of dudes with nearly-identical names you can't pronounce.
Literally, I have so many words, that I have none. I just, ugh. Anaxagoras, Archimedes, Alexamenus, Anaxarchus, Anaximenes, Atticus, Att — I can't. I just can't.
5. Words matter.![]()
Once you're in the world of philosophy, be very careful of what you say and how you say it, down to the very word. Yes, this will haunt you for at least the four years of undergrad, and very possibly longer. You're welcome.
6. We are now founts of pure truth. Obviously.
Just kidding. It's actually a very interesting and slightly insanity-inducing phenomenon. If it's taught right, and received/studied well, then philosophy can be a wonderful stepping stone to discovering a new understanding of what Truth itself is, what is true, and how to get to it. However, it almost feels like an intellectual manifestation of dissociative personality disorder, because one half of you is all, 'yeah I totally know it all, got it all figured out, smooth sailing, oh what a fount of knowledge and truth I am' (in a *hopefully* un-cocky way), and the other half of you becomes more and more aware that the more you know, the more you realize how little you actually know.
7. "Over-philosophizing everything" is not a thing.
If you break it down, philosophy actually means "the love of wisdom." Philo- as a prefix refers to loving or a deep fondness, and -soph refers to "Sophia," meaning 'wisdom'. The word itself, as well as the study, is a love for and a pursuit of wisdom. So when we "philosophize everything," it's most often just us saying it the way we see it in a realer understanding than merely surface level, superficial, or hyper-practical.
And what people think of when they think of "over-philosophizing" (making everything hyperthetical, outlandish, and going on about persons and situations that are hardly relevant, often in an overly-thoughtful tone), is not philosophizing. Because that's not philosophy. Because it's unfounded, inconsequential fluff, that means nothing and refers to nothing and is therefore not a true pursuit of wisdom or love of it.
Disclaimer: this last section is with the presumption of a genuinely good-intentioned philosophy major, who actually is pursuing his/her love of wisdom and wisdom itself in a properly ordered, true, and unadulterated manner.
8. Everything is going to seem more wordy than you ever imagined possible.
This is what it feels like every time you read 90% of the philosophers out there. In no way is the substance of what they are arguing bad, but sometimes it feels wordy because it's so dense so we're only understanding it in layers as we read it--but oh man it can be so incredibly wordy sometimes that you have to wonder if the writer himself even knew what he was saying.
9. Aristotelian or Platonist: The ultimate rivalry.
Just kidding. Kind of. It's an inside joke, you wouldn't get it.
10. You will now and forever see the world in a different context.
After reading thousands upon thousands of pages of philosophy from all of history, and then writing thousands on thousands on thousands of words on said pages, it (hopefully) ingrains a new appreciation and acknowledgement of reality in you, that you will probably never be able to escape. You will see the world and the people in it differently now, and that is probably more of a good thing that you realize right now, and is certainly more of a good thing than others realize right now.
Go, see, do, be, live. Once a philosophy major, always a philosophy major. #Solidarity.
