Jimmy Fallon:
Late-night talk show host, former SNL cast member and God's gift to comedy.
Notorious for his Friday night "Thank You Notes," a segment carried over from is Late Night days, Fallon perfectly blends satirical and absurdist humor with the composition of notes of gratitude to abstract concepts and objects.
Here's a few...
1. "Thank you, windshield wipers, for showing me what it'd look like if my car said, "HEYYY... HOOO!"
2. "Thank you, aliens, for being advanced enough to have intellectual spaceships, but not advanced enough to wear pants."
3. "Thank you, Kentucky Derby winner California Chrome, for reportedly have a cough just days before the Preakness. Hopefully it's nothing, and you're just a little 'hoarse.'"
4. "Thank you, Petco aquariums, for being like death row for goldfish."
5. "Thank you, ponchos, for not being called rain condoms."
6. "Thank you, Cheese Nips, for being a delicious cracker, and not the name of a strip club in Wisconsin."
7. "Thank you, ceiling fans, for having two speeds: barely moving or 'Oh my God, it's going to rip off the ceiling and slice into the children!!'"
8. "Thank you, cliffhangers, for..."
9. "Thank you, May the 4th, for being the perfect holiday for Star Wars fans as well as people with lisps."
