It is always easy to tell when I am about to start crying during a movie.
There will usually be a tip off scene. This is a scene where something absolutely horrible happens. Usually the horrible something will be a surprise. Maybe a dog will die. Maybe an innocent character, that everyone loved, just gets it for no reason. Either way, you will see me slowly creep to the back of my seat and mutter a long and painful, “Dude -- what?”
I don’t usually cry during movies, especially when there are people around. However, there are a handful of movies that always break my soul, no matter how many times I watch them. If you are a guy, and you want to cry during a movie, I will give you a pass on the following movies. Spoilers ahead!
10. Marley And Me (2008)
It is not too difficult to predict how this story is going to end. When Owen Wilson and Jennifer Aniston buy this little pup, there really wasn’t any question it was going down. There are not a lot of movies where the dog lives without having the magical ability to talk. What makes it uniquely sad is the process. This little dog was the worst when they first bought him. Then things start to get a little cozier and the dog becomes too cute, to the point where we are thinking, “Oh, Marley!” even when the worst is happening. Eventually, you will cross your fingers that this dog does not die, only to be disappointed.
9. Friday Night Lights (2004)
This movie is not as sad as it is heartbreaking. This epic film follows the journey and lives of a high school football team in the town of Odessa, TX. This town eats, dreams, and breathes football. The only thing more intense than the desire of the players is the pressure their fans and parents put on them. It is like people forgot they were teenagers. After a season of career-ending injuries and emotional tirades, they finally make it to the state championship, only to lose to another crazy group of football fanatics by one touchdown. This movie will have you clawing at your armrests asking "God, why?!”
8. Interstellar (2014)
This movie had so many twists and turns that my brain was almost too confused to cry. Without giving too much away, Interstellar is the story of a man who journeys into the deepest depths of space to save the Earth from a worldwide famine. The catch? He has two children that he straight up leaves on Earth. “Bye, kids! See you eons from now!” Not only do we witness the emotional turmoil of Matthew McConaughey alone in space, but also we witness his children’s burden of growing up without a father. This is a tearjerker that will satisfy your sci-fi hunger, to say the least.
7. Click (2006)
Click is a complete cry trap for people just looking to see a dumb comedy. Here is a movie that is advertised as fun for the whole family. This idiot has the cosmic power to pause, fast forward, and rewind his life as if it were a program on TiVo. What it turns out to be is a gut wrenching journey of a man who is so over his head that he neglects the needs of the family he was trying to help.
6. Up (2009)
Pixar provides us with a joyful tale of an old man who builds a flying house with a talking dog and a boy scout. It is not your average adventure story, but it is a load of family fun. This movie, for the most part, is not actually that sad. However, there is a montage in the beginning of the movie showing the old man’s life with his wife that will emotionally melt you. But don’t worry; this story lightens up real quick!
5. Harry Potter And The Deathly Hallows: Part 1 (2010)
Times have changed for the boy who lived. The depressing change is most evident when we see the harmless house-elf, Dobby, sacrifice his life so Harry can live. All Dobby wanted to do was see Harry come out on top! Why, Dobby, why? At least the next one won't be as bad.
4. Harry Potter And The Deathly Hallows: Part 2 (2011)
I was wrong. This movie is even more gloomy than part one. Not only do more people die, but there is more friendly fighting between the characters we love! Come on, guys! Can’t we all just get along? What even happened to Harry Potter? This kid was playing with brooms and hanging out with talking hats in the first few books. Now, he is fighting for his life against man-eating beasts and the most evil people in the world. And to top it all off, he has to worry about his best friend giving him a beat down because Harry has a crush on his sister. At least this movie has a happy ending after the bloodiest battle I have ever seen in a children’s movie
3. Hardball (2001)
It is tough to take anything Keanu Reeves does seriously when he is not wearing a black overcoat and dark lenses while he beats up guys in suits. Hardball is the exception to this thought. Here, we see him coaching underprivileged kids in a city housing project to pay off his gambling debts. At first he is reluctant, but then grows to love the wisecracking and hilarious kids that are on his team. This is what makes the ending of this movie twice as tragic. If you can get over the fact that Neo is the one coaching this team, then you will love this movie.
2. Toy Story 3 (2010)
Who did not cry when they saw this movie? And I know you have seen this movie. I am 22 years old. When Andy was a little kid, I was a little kid. When Andy got older, I was a little older. By the time Andy was going to college and getting rid of his toys, I was about to go to college. The only difference was nobody was getting my toys. After seeing these toys fight for their lives, or whatever you call the life of a toy, we see our favorite miniature heroes close to their demise. Don’t tell me you sat there with a smile on your face when Woody and Buzz were about to be incinerated! We grew up with them!
1. Super Size Me (2004)
This documentary impacted me the most, by far. As a die-hard burger lover, I did not know how to handle the news that McDonald's, home of the freaking Happy Meal, is bad for you. I’m hating it! How could you do this to me, Morgan Spurlock? I don’t make movies about how bad your favorite foods are! You should be ashamed, no matter how scientifically accurate and revolutionary your movie was!
