I recently had the opportunity to enjoy L. Ron Hubbard’s list of Ways to Drive a Writer Crazy. As a writer, I can affirm that yes, these do drive us nuts. Please try not to do that.

On that note, as a way to help non-writers interact with their weird writer friends, and to give the weird writers something to laugh at, here are ten more ways to drive a writer absolutely crazy.

1. When a writer shares the name of an already-established author who inspires her to write original stories, always make sure she knows that you think said author is mediocre and has no true place in the field. Whether or not you have read this author’s work is of no relevance.

2. After reading a writer’s work, make sure you focus on the largest possible mistake and repeat it over and over just in case the writer forgets just how glaring it is.

3. As soon as you make a writer’s acquaintance, request that she puts you in her next novel. (This is the best way to make friends with a writer, and absolutely won’t end with her basing her next super-annoying character off of you. She definitely won’t kill that character off, either).

4. Ask the writer how she expects to make money.

5. If the writer mentions a vampire character in her stories, instantly ask “Like Twilight?”

6. When a writer starts explaining a plot idea, feel free to add your own ideas intermittently. Do not feel honored that the writer is opening up to you—this is your time to shine and show the writer just how much you can influence someone else’s imagination.

7. Ask the writer if she is published yet.

8. If the writer confides that she has not read a wildly popular or well-established fiction series, insinuate that she must not know what she’s doing since she hasn’t read the greats.

9. Make sure the writer knows that you can publish any trash these days, and it can’t be that hard if the presses are churning out so many erotic romance novels every year.

10. Immediately after a writer tells you that they are, indeed, a writer, tell her “Oh, I don’t like reading.”