I used to see Cosmopolitan magazine at Barnes & Nobles. Even at a young age, I didn’t know much about women, actually being 23 and single I still don’t know much about women, but I’ve always felt like I knew more than the writers at Cosmopolitan. Their magazines are filled with ridiculous claims. What To Do When Your Guy Gets All Quiet. What Men Really Think About In Bed. Stuff You Think He Wants In Bed But He Really Doesn’t. Yes, these are real things they put on the cover of a magazine, a simple Google search would suffice in proving my point. Furthermore, I’ve provided pictures for proof and even included my favorite, How To Outsmart a Bitch. I actually would love to read that article.

What To Do When Your Guy Gets All Quiet

Stuff You Think He Wants In Bed But He Really Doesn’t

How To Outsmart a Bitch

Man, that’s like real-life click bait. Personally, they’re humorous. Not only humorous, but the headlines were wildly worded to where I was curious enough to open these magazines to see what women (who were readers of Cosmopolitan) thought of us men. Immediately after reading, and debunking, the theories provided by the writer’s, I would bid farewell to the magazine with a chuckle before leaving it on the stand to either be debunked by another straight-male, or to be purchased by a whomever resonated with these headlines.

Fast forward to a few minutes ago. I’m on Facebook browsing my Timeline. I’m scrolling down, oh another kid! I would have never expected! I’m scrolling some more and I see a video of someone putting spaghetti on a pizza. How disgusting, but the top comment is funny.

Then the ultimate funny comes, and it’s a Cosmopolitan article. 10 Little Things He Always Notices About You. It’s go time, let the debunking begin.

I click on the article and immediately notice that it is written by “Cosmo Frank.” I’m pretty sure he is gay, but I am open to being wrong. Why does this matter? Because a gay guys perception of a women differs starkly from that of a straight male. I’m an asshole for assuming, but I’m pretty much an asshole for writing this article. So it goes. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

In debunking Cosmo Franks article, I will do this in a true or false fashion. True meaning it is honest to the claim, and false meaning it is not honest to the claim. Let us begin.

1. When you chop off most of your hair.

Most? Most?? MOST??! Is most of your hair a little thing? I’m not sure, but I’ll give him the benefit of the doubt. True: 1 False: 0.

2. When you pretend you're still sleeping, so you can roll over and get some cuddle action in the morning.

I’m going to be honest with you, if you pretend you’re sleeping I’m not going to notice. If you admit to me that you’re pretending to be asleep to get some cuddle action, I’m kicking you out of my house and deleting your number out of my phone. True: 1 False: 1.

3. The way you smile when you're pretending to be annoyed at us but actually thought that dumb joke was really funny.

I’m so confused. True: 1 False: 2.

4. When you decide to go braless.

This would be true, but he ruined it with his description. We don't even need to see it?! We can jsut sense it?!!! I’m not going to know unless I see, I have to see to believe. Not only that, this is like me saying people can notice when I’m naked without even seeing me. FALSE! True: 1 False: 3.

5. That look you give us when we do something you think is really cute.

Not going to lie, I had to reach out to a female friend to explain in depth what this look is. She says she thinks it’s a very “subtle” look. Hmm, us men aren’t good with taking hints or “subtle” looks, this is why women get angry at us, that, or they’re hungry. True: 1 False: 4

6. When you get new underwear.

This! I can confirm. True: 2 False: 4.

7. When you remember little things we've shared with you.

Attention to detail is appreciated. True: 3 False: 4.

8. When you can somehow sense we're having a bad day even if we don't want to talk about it.

Same concept, different scenario. True: 4 False: 4.

9. And when something is really bothering you, even if you're the one being quiet.

I’m not speaking for all men, but for most men, we like when women are vocal about their wants and needs. Being very straightforward is key, we do not like to play guessing games. True: 4 False: 5.

10. The way your hand always finds ours when we're out walking around.

Let’s just say I’m glad this list was only 10 items long. True: 4 False: 6.

Welp, that was a good session of fact-checking and debunking. Frank also includes a link to his Twitter concluding his article.

Ironic.

PEACE!

Link to Cosmo Frank’s article here