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Politics and Activism

10 Excuses Other Than "I Have a Boyfriend"

Because just admitting you're not interested is much too difficult

Liz Briody

Aug 22, 2016

St Josephs College New York

10 Excuses Other Than "I Have a Boyfriend"

Word Press

One of the most common phrases out of a girl's mouth other than, "I literally can't even" is "I have a boyfriend." Now, whether the girl is actually in a relationship, or not, is completely irrelevant, this is just the easiest response to unwanted advances from the creepy old dude at Stop & Shop. The only problem with this, is that guys are starting to understand that girls are using this as a scapegoat, and they're not exactly buying it. In my opinion the whole, "I have a boyfriend" shtick is getting quite old, so i've come up with a list of more creative excuses.

1. "I'm working on myself." (A la Lace from "The Bachelor.)

2. "I'm a mother of four cats and not comfortable with bringing another man into their lives."

3." I don't date guys without sideburns."

4. "Wanna go to a Trump rally together?" (If you're in Vermont.)

5. "Hillary doesn't deserve to go to prison." (If you're in Mississippi.)

6. "I was actually on an episode of Catfish!"

7. "My dad recently got a job as an NRA firearm instructor."

8. "I want to start having kids as soon as I graduate #milfmoney."

9. "I don't have patience for guys who take longer than four minutes to text me back."

10. "Sorry, I'm just not that into you."

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10 Excuses Other Than "I Have a Boyfriend"

Because just admitting you're not interested is much too difficult

1. "I'm working on myself." (A la Lace from "The Bachelor.)

2. "I'm a mother of four cats and not comfortable with bringing another man into their lives."

3." I don't date guys without sideburns."

4. "Wanna go to a Trump rally together?" (If you're in Vermont.)

5. "Hillary doesn't deserve to go to prison." (If you're in Mississippi.)

6. "I was actually on an episode of Catfish!"

7. "My dad recently got a job as an NRA firearm instructor."

8. "I want to start having kids as soon as I graduate #milfmoney."

9. "I don't have patience for guys who take longer than four minutes to text me back."

10. "Sorry, I'm just not that into you."

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I have never been so thankful to know you.

Dealing with the inevitable realities of college life.

Don't freak out

Email the professor

Attend the first class

Keep attending class

Have a backup plan

Remember that everything works out at the end

It's mandatory to have these conversations.

1. What do you do for a living?

2. What's your favorite color?

3. Do you have any siblings?

4. What's your favorite television show?

5. When is your birthday?

6. What's your biggest goal in life?

7. If you had three wishes granted to you by a genie, what would they be?

8. What's your favorite childhood memory?

9. If you could change one thing about your life, what would it be?

10. Are you a cat or a dog person?

11. Do you believe in a religion or any sort of spiritual power?

12. If you could travel anywhere in the world, where would it be?

13. What is your ideal date night?

14. Who was/is your celebrity crush?

15. What's a good way to cheer you up if you're having a bad day?

16. Do you have any tattoos?

17. Can you describe yourself in three words?

18. What makes you the most nervous in life?

19. What's the best gift you have ever received?

20. What do you do to relax/have fun?

21. What are your priorities at this phase of your life?

Is there really such a difference in Challah bread or Easter Bread?

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There's no other place you'd rather be in the summer.

A bad day at the lake is still better than a good day not at the lake.

You know the best beaches and coves to go to.

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Doing the friendly wave to every boat you pass.

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You have no problem with peeing in the water.

You know the frustration of getting your anchor stuck.

Watching in awe at the bigger, better boats that pass by.

Knowing any swimsuit that you own with white in it is best left for the pool or the ocean.

The momentary fear for your life as you get launched from the tube.

You're able to go to the restaurants by the water wearing minimal clothing.

Having unexpected problems with your boat.

Having a name for your boat unique to you and your life.

There's no better place you'd rather be in the summer.

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