10 Things To Avoid Saying To Your Fat Friend

10 Things To Avoid Saying To Your Fat Friend

Fat bodies are glorious bodies, so why is this so difficult to understand?

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*disclaimer* These were collected from a group of one body-type. This in no way is to shame other people across the spectrum; this is to solely discuss 1 specific body-type. All bodies are beautiful bodies, please stop telling people otherwise.


1. Wow you have a beautiful face... (for a fat person)

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Just because you may not be attracted to fat-bodied individuals does NOT mean that they aren't beautiful. Avoid making this comment, it's rude as hell, unnecessary to boot, and creates an air that you believe you're better than us (this most likely isn't the case, but it isn't always about what you say more as it's about how it's perceived or how you say it). Don't be that person, ok?

2. I feel so fat today

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We know - every single human has things about themselves that they don't like. Body diphoria is quite common, so please understand that we know you're insecure too... but take your audience into consideration. “I feel so fat today," can indeed be incredibly rude if you are, in fact, saying it to your fat friend.

Whether or not you meant it that way is moot, please stop using our fat to insult yourself because you're insulting us too - DO NOT DO IT.

3. You just need to love yourself

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I.... I don't even know how to respond to this. I do love myself? Being fat doesn't mean I don't... like... where did you come up with this?

I admit, there's a vast population of individuals, throughout the body spectrum that don't love themselves and sure - maybe it's because they don't like their bodies, but don't assume that is the issue - plus we might be 100% comfy and totally in love with ourselves.

4. Maybe if you exercised more?

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Do not, under any circumstance, assume that you know what's going on in a fat persons life. Unless you're their personal doctor, you have no say in the matter.

Fat people work out too, as surprising as that seems to people.

5. Dates are mean, they just don't see your inner-self

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Dating is the worst - this is coming from personal experience alone, but don't assume that our outer selves are not good enough that a date needs to see the “inner-self." I assure you there's going to be assholes no matter what your body looks like or who you are.

We know your intentions are good, but phrasing is important.

6. Are you sure you want to wear that?

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YES SUSAN, I AM SURE. First of all - rock whatever the FUCK you want. It is not your place to tell someone else how they should or should not dress. Their body, their choice - if you don't like it... too bad.

7. You can't have an eating disorder

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I... can't?

The definition of an eating disorder - any range of psychological disorders characterized by abnormal or disturbed eating habits.

The DSM-5 outlines the different forms of eating disorders (pica, rumination disorder, avoidant/restrictive food intake disorder, anorexia nervosa, bulimia nervosa & binge-eating disorder). No where does it say that you have to be a specific size to have these eating disorders. It is a psychological disorder. PSYCHOLOGICAL

Let me whole-heartedly spell this out: BODY SHAPE AND EATING DISORDERS ARE NOT SYNONOMOUS.

8. You'd be more attractive if *insert words*

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Funny thing, our goals in life do not include trying to be more attractive to you. We get it, that you don't think we're attractive, but that doesn't mean we need to bend and break ourselves just so we can fit into this fantasy of what beautiful is.

You'd be more attractive if you didn't make asinine comments, but we won't talk about that 🤷🏼

9. Buying clothes is so hard, there's never anything good to get

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I don't disagree with you, but do you know that they really didn't produce quality clothes for younger (or even middle-aged) fat women until the late 90's early 00's? We basically had stripes and other forms of nautical nonsense. I'm not saying that buying clothing isn't a pain in the ass, trust me I know - but the general population has more options than we ever did.

Thank god they have opened their eyes and put more amazing opportunities out there, albeit expensive. Again, remember your audience.

10. They're so fat, but you're not - you're beautiful

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Excuse me?

Do NOT insult another person for being what apparently is disgustingly fat to you, and then magically think your fat friend didn't catch the fact that you were being incredibly fatphobic and rude as fuck about them.

It's cruel, unappreciated, and mostly just awful. It doesn't even matter if the person you just called fat is your worst enemy, love your friend enough to not insult people based on what they look like. As a decent human, you shouldn't do that in general - but we all have faults.


*These were collected from real individuals who have, in fact, had these things said to them.*

Everyone deserves the right to be in their skin - not to be judged or ridiculed. All bodies are glorious, so let the damn diamonds SHINE.

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This Is How Your Same-Sex Marriage Affects Me As A Catholic Woman

I hear you over there, Bible Bob.
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It won't.

Wait, what?

I promise you did read that right. Not what you were expecting me to say, right? Who another person decides to marry will never in any way affect my own marriage whatsoever. Unless they try to marry the person that I want to, then we might have a few problems.

As a kid, I was raised, baptized, and confirmed into an old school Irish Catholic church in the middle of a small, midwestern town.

Not exactly a place that most people would consider to be very liberal or open-minded. Despite this I was taught to love and accept others as a child, to not cast judgment because the only person fit to judge was God. I learned this from my Grandpa, a man whose love of others was only rivaled by his love of sweets and spoiling his grandkids.

While I learned this at an early age, not everyone else in my hometown — or even within my own church — seemed to get the memo. When same-sex marriage was finally legalized country-wide, I cried tears of joy for some of my closest friends who happen to be members of the LGBTQ community.

I was happy while others I knew were disgusted and even enraged.

"That's not what it says in the bible! Marriage is between a man and a woman!"

"God made Adam and Eve for a reason! Man shall not lie with another man as he would a woman!"

"Homosexuality is a sin! It's bad enough that they're all going to hell, now we're letting them marry?"

Alright, Bible Bob, we get it, you don't agree with same-sex relationships. Honestly, that's not the issue. One of our civil liberties as United States citizens is the freedom of religion. If you believe your religion doesn't support homosexuality that's OK.

What isn't OK is thinking that your religious beliefs should dictate others lives.

What isn't OK is using your religion or your beliefs to take away rights from those who chose to live their life differently than you.

Some members of my church are still convinced that their marriage now means less because people are free to marry whoever they want to. Honestly, I wish I was kidding. Tell me again, Brenda how exactly do Steve and Jason's marriage affect yours and Tom's?

It doesn't. Really, it doesn't affect you at all.

Unless Tom suddenly starts having an affair with Steve their marriage has zero effect on you. You never know Brenda, you and Jason might become best friends by the end of the divorce. (And in that case, Brenda and Tom both need to go to church considering the bible also teaches against adultery and divorce.)

I'll say it one more time for the people in the back: same-sex marriage does not affect you even if you or your religion does not support it. If you don't agree with same-sex marriage then do not marry someone of the same sex. Really, it's a simple concept.

It amazes me that I still actually have to discuss this with some people in 2017. And it amazes me that people use God as a reason to hinder the lives of others.

As a proud young Catholic woman, I wholeheartedly support the LGBTQ community with my entire being.

My God taught me to not hold hate so close to my heart. He told me not to judge and to accept others with open arms. My God taught me to love and I hope yours teaches you the same.

Disclaimer - This article in no way is meant to be an insult to the Bible or religion or the LGBTQ community.

Cover Image Credit: Sushiesque / Flickr

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Dear Nancy Pelosi, 16-Year-Olds Should Not Be Able To Vote

Because I'm sure every sixteen year old wants to be rushing to the voting booth on their birthday instead of the BMV, anyways.

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Recent politicians such as Nancy Pelosi have put the voting age on the political agenda in the past few weeks. In doing so, some are advocating for the voting age in the United States to be lowered from eighteen to sixteen- Here's why it is ludicrous.

According to a study done by "Circle" regarding voter turnout in the 2018 midterms, 31% of eligible people between the ages of 18 and 29 voted. Thus, nowhere near half of the eligible voters between 18 and 29 actually voted. To anyone who thinks the voting age should be lowered to sixteen, in relevance to the data, it is pointless. If the combination of people who can vote from the legal voting age of eighteen to eleven years later is solely 31%, it is doubtful that many sixteen-year-olds would exercise their right to vote. To go through such a tedious process of amending the Constitution to change the voting age by two years when the evidence doesn't support that many sixteen-year-olds would make use of the new change (assuming it would pass) to vote is idiotic.

The argument can be made that if someone can operate heavy machinery (I.e. drive a car) at sixteen, they should be able to vote. Just because a sixteen-year-old can (in most places) now drive a car and work at a job, does not mean that they should be able to vote. At the age of sixteen, many students have not had fundamental classes such as government or economics to fully understand the political world. Sadly, going into these classes there are students that had mere knowledge of simple political knowledge such as the number of branches of government. Well, there are people above the age of eighteen who are uneducated but they can still vote, so what does it matter if sixteen-year-olds don't know everything about politics and still vote? At least they're voting. Although this is true, it's highly doubtful that someone who is past the age of eighteen, is uninformed about politics, and has to work on election day will care that much to make it to the booths. In contrast, sixteen-year-olds may be excited since it's the first time they can vote, and likely don't have too much of a tight schedule on election day, so they still may vote. The United States does not need people to vote if their votes are going to be uneducated.

But there are some sixteen-year-olds who are educated on issues and want to vote, so that's unfair to them. Well, there are other ways to participate in government besides voting. If a sixteen-year-old feels passionate about something on the political agenda but can't vote, there are other ways of getting involved. They can canvas for politicians whom they agree with, or become active in the notorious "Get Out The Vote" campaign to increase registered voter participation or help register those who already aren't. Best yet, they can politically socialize their peers with political information so that when the time comes for all of them to be eighteen and vote, more eighteen-year-olds will be educated and likely to vote.

If you're a sixteen-year-old and feel hopeless, you're not. As the 2016 election cycle approached, I was seventeen and felt useless because I had no vote. Although voting is arguably one of the easiest ways to participate in politics, it's not the only one. Since the majority of the current young adult population don't exercise their right to vote, helping inform them of how to stay informed and why voting is important, in my eyes is as essential as voting.

Sorry, Speaker Pelosi and all the others who think the voting age should be lowered. I'd rather not have to pay a plethora of taxes in my later years because in 2020 sixteen-year-olds act like sheep and blindly vote for people like Bernie Sanders who support the free college.

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