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10 John Mulaney Quotes That Would Make Even JJ Bittenbinder Crack A Smile

John Mulaney is the comedian we all need right now.

Laura Stringer

Jun 27, 2019

Missouri State University

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10 John Mulaney Quotes That Would Make Even JJ Bittenbinder Crack A Smile

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If you have been living under a rock, John Mulaney is one of the best comedians you will find. Whether you know him from his Saturday Night Live days, his stand up shows, or from his newest project Big Mouth, you know that he is one of the funniest guys around.

1. When He Spoke On Cancelling Plans

"In terms of instant relief cancelling plans is like heroin."

2. Looking Back On Being 17

"I look back on being 17 and think, Oh my God, how did I not die?"

3. When He Talked About Doing Stuff

"The more you do stuff, the better you get at dealing with how you still fail at it a lot of the time."

4. On Being A Kid

"I have a lot of stories about being a kid because it was the last time I was interesting."

5. On Crazy Relatives

"You all have a relative who is an expert even though they really don't know what they're talking about."

6. Clapping Back At Know It Alls

"Just cause you're accurate doesn't mean you're interesting."

7. Describing What College Life Is Like

"I am very small, and I have no money, so you can understand the kind of stress that I am under."

8. Commenting On Crazy People

"Crazy people are like that. They have unlimited crazy currency. The things they say mean nothing to them, but they mean everything to me."

9. On Not Doing Things

"It's 100% easier not to do things than to do them."

10. On Being Nervous

"Am I going to be nervous? I've been nervous for thirty five years."

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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25 Beatles Lyrics: Your Go-To Guide for Every Situation

The Best Lines from the Fab Four

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For as long as I can remember, I have been listening to The Beatles. Every year, my mom would appropriately blast “Birthday” on anyone’s birthday. I knew all of the words to “Back In The U.S.S.R” by the time I was 5 (Even though I had no idea what or where the U.S.S.R was). I grew up with John, Paul, George, and Ringo instead Justin, JC, Joey, Chris and Lance (I had to google N*SYNC to remember their names). The highlight of my short life was Paul McCartney in concert twice. I’m not someone to “fangirl” but those days I fangirled hard. The music of The Beatles has gotten me through everything. Their songs have brought me more joy, peace, and comfort. I can listen to them in any situation and find what I need. Here are the best lyrics from The Beatles for every and any occasion.

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Waitlisted for a College Class? Here's What to Do!

Dealing with the inevitable realities of college life.

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Course registration at college can be a big hassle and is almost never talked about. Classes you want to take fill up before you get a chance to register. You might change your mind about a class you want to take and must struggle to find another class to fit in the same time period. You also have to make sure no classes clash by time. Like I said, it's a big hassle.

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Recommended for you

10 John Mulaney Quotes That Would Make Even JJ Bittenbinder Crack A Smile

John Mulaney is the comedian we all need right now.

1. When He Spoke On Cancelling Plans

2. Looking Back On Being 17

3. When He Talked About Doing Stuff

4. On Being A Kid

5. On Crazy Relatives

6. Clapping Back At Know It Alls

7. Describing What College Life Is Like

8. Commenting On Crazy People

9. On Not Doing Things

10. On Being Nervous

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The Best Lines from the Fab Four

And in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make

The sun is up, the sky is blue, it's beautiful and so are you

Love is old, love is new, love is all, love is you

There's nowhere you can be that isn't where you're meant to be

Life is very short, and there's no time for fussing and fighting, my friend

He say, "I know you, you know me", One thing I can tell you is you got to be free

Oh please, say to me, You'll let me be your man. And please say to me, You'll let me hold your hand

It was twenty years ago today, Sgt. Pepper taught the band to play. They've been going in and out of style, but they're guaranteed to raise a smile

Living is easy with eyes closed, misunderstanding all you see

Can you hear me? When it rains and shine, it's just a state of mind

Little darling, it's been long cold lonely winter. Little darling, it feels like years since it' s been here. Here comes the sun, Here comes the sun, and I say it's alright

We danced through the night and we held each other tight, and before too long I fell in love with her. Now, I'll never dance with another when I saw her standing there

I love you, I love you, I love you, that's all I want to say

You say you want a revolution. Well you know, we all want to change the world

All the lonely people, where do they all come from. All the lonely people, where do they all belong

Oh, I get by with a little help from my friends

Hey Jude, don't make it bad. Take a sad song and make it better

Yesterday, all my troubles seemed so far away. Now it looks as though they're here to stay. Oh, I believe in yesterday

And when the brokenhearted people, living in the world agree, there will be an answer, let it be.

And anytime you feel the pain, Hey Jude, refrain. Don't carry the world upon your shoulders

I'll give you all I got to give if you say you'll love me too. I may not have a lot to give but what I got I'll give to you. I don't care too much for money. Money can't buy me love

All you need is love, love is all you need

Whisper words of wisdom, let it be

Blackbird singing in the dead of night, Take these broken wings and learn to fly. All your life, You were only waiting for this moment to arise

Though I know I'll never lose affection, for people and things that went before. I know I'll often stop and think about them. In my life, I love you more

Obviously the best superpower.

There have been many lessons learned.

1. The importance of traditions.

2. How to be thankful for family and friends.

3. How to give back.

4. What the word "community" really means.

5. That it isn't about the destination, but the journey.

6. The consequences of making bad choices.

7. To trust people, until you have a reason not to.

8. To be welcoming and accepting of everyone.

9. How to be my own, individual person.

10. How to work for what I want.

11. How to be great at giving directions.

12. How to be humble.

13. To be well-rounded.

14. How to be great at conflict resolution.

15. The beauty of getting outside and exploring.

16. To be prepared for anything.

17. That you don't always have to do it alone.

18. How to be creative.

19. To brush off gossip.

I have never been so thankful to know you.

Dealing with the inevitable realities of college life.

Don't freak out

Email the professor

Attend the first class

Keep attending class

Have a backup plan

Remember that everything works out at the end

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