When I was growing up, I never wanted to play with Barbie Dolls or put on makeup. From sunup to sundown I was outside playing or at a sports practice. Instead of enrolling in dance and learning perfect pirouettes (I learned that word from Dance Moms) and how to get my hair into the perfect bun, I chose karate where we yelled and broke boards with our fists.
So when it came to high school when most of the other girls began getting into clothes and makeup, it comes as no surprise that I had no clue what to do. Here are 20 thoughts that every tomboy has had while attempting to do her makeup:
"Ugh, I have to wear makeup tonight."
"I'll just look at one of those makeup tutorials on YouTube and will look good in no time."
*While searching on YouTube* "I don't understand why you'd want to put this stuff all over your face."
*Still searching on YouTube* "When you wear lipstick, you have to worry about how you're eating so you don't smear it all around."
"Aha! The perfect look."
*Reading description of video* "I'll need primer, setting spray, highlighter, bronzer, loose and pressed shadows, a shadow base, pigments, eyeliner, lipstick, brow gel, a crease brush, a flat shader brush, a smudge brush, concealer, setting powder, blush..."
*Looks at my grocery store mascara, broken Elf eyebrow gel and one half-melted tube of sample lipstick I got at the mall* "Well we might have a problem."
"I can make this work."
"This cannot be that hard."
"Ok this isn't working."
"This mascara expired last year."
"Do I really have to wear makeup tonight?"
"I mean the natural look is in right now."
"I can fix this, I'll just mix some water into the mascara to get the clumps out."
"Well that didn't help. Ok, so we're down to broken Elf eyebrow gel and sample lipstick I got at the mall."
*Tries to apply lipstick, but it crumbles as you press it against your lips* "Ok, so no lipstick."
"I have 5 more minutes to get ready, what do I do now?"
"I'm not wearing any makeup, they'll get what they get."
"Wait, I have to do something with my hair? Maybe I can find a braiding tutorial on YouTube!"
"It cannot be that hard, I'll be done in 5 minutes."