This is a very touchy subject but I feel like it needs to be mentioned. "You're pretty for a black girl!" My entire life I've heard that. Not just from one race but EVERY SINGLE RACE. I mean come on people. Are black women not attractive? Oh yeah, I forgot we are considered "Ghetto," "Loud," "We have daddy issues," "Light-skinned women are prettier than dark-skinned women" What? Are you serious?
Let's shift back to where it all started. I grew up in Richmond Hill, Ga, a small town beside Savannah. Around this time, there weren't many African Americans in Richmond Hill, which is expected since it was so secluded.
Now let's shift to 5th grade, this was the FIRST time that I was told,"You're pretty for a black girl." So I'm walking into class and the bell rings. Now as I sit down, this guy says, "You're pretty for a black girl." Now as a young 5th grader I took that as a compliment. "Like wow, he really thinks I'm a pretty black girl."
Constantly hearing that while you're growing up messes up your mind. You take something that's actually is an insult and think it's a compliment. Growing up in a predominantly white town, I was attracted to just white guys. Nothing against other races but I grew up around them. So anything that they would tell me I thought of it as "THE BEST THING IN THE WORLD!"
Now forward to college and I admit it, I was still that same 5th grader deep down inside. I'm being very open about this and not many people know this about me. My goal is to share my life with others because someone out there can relate to this. Anyway, I had my first boyfriend my freshmen year of college and let me tell you, I thought I won an oscar. I was like, "Oh yeah , i have a white boyfriend." All this was because of one comment that was constantly made to me and I've never dealt with it until now.
A year goes by and I decide to face my inner demons. I ask myself," Why do I take what certain races say and run with it while I downplay what other races say or do." All because of that comment. Then God tells me, " You are all my children, No race is better than the other." To hear my father tell me that sent me into a 360 whirlwind. "Embrace who you are and if others don't like it , then who cares." "You should only care about what I think." God truly opened my eyes.
From that point on I embraced "me". When you embrace "you" I'm talking about whether you're white, black, blue, purple, yellow, green, the entire rainbow. I want people to understand, that just because you embrace "you"and post things about "you" (Remember what I qualify as "you") doesn't mean you're putting one race above another.
For example, I found it funny how people became mad once Beyonce made Formation. I didn't understand the anti-cop movement. Did she say or imply that she didn't like cops?" NO! When she went on that field to perform that wasn't her goal. Her goal was to embrace "her". There's nothing wrong with that. People would say,"OH, THE BLACK PANTHERS, THEY HATED WHITE PEOPLE." She was embracing "her" history and "HER" roots. It had nothing to do with any selfish human being that thought she was targeting a certain race. Oh yeah, by the way, not EVERYTHING pertains to you. Take a look at the bigger picture. Stop putting yourself in a box.
Black women are GORGEOUS! I've come to finally embrace my skin color. The texture of my hair. The way my lips are shaped and the size of my nose. Now, when I hear that comment "You're pretty for a black girl," it just shows how ignorant that person is. Nothing against them. I just KNOW I'm a beautiful young woman and not "for" a black woman.
We know the odds against us, yet some of us just fall to the lowest of the low. Get up and dress up! Carry yourself with class. Shut it down when you walk into a room. Wear your natural hair. Expand your vocabulary. Dominate a conversation without speaking. We are powerful and essential. This just doesn't apply to black women but to all women.
As a young, black women, I observe any and everything. Why? Because i want to break every stereotype that has ever been given to Black women. I will do as such. So should you.
“I’m glad that Shonda Rhimes saw me and said, 'Why not?' That’s what makes her a visionary. That’s what makes her iconic. I think that beauty is subjective. I’ve heard that statement [less classically beautiful] my entire life. Being a dark-skinned black woman, you heard it from the womb. And 'classically not beautiful' is a fancy term for saying ugly. And denouncing you. And erasing you. Now… it worked when I was younger. It no longer works for me now. It’s about teaching a culture how to treat you. Because at the end of the day, you define you.” -- Viola Davis