To my siblings;
I know I am not around as much as you would like me to be and certainly not as much as I would like to be. Things can be difficult with families and even more difficult when it comes to mixed families. We all have missed out on so much in each other's lives already, and hopefully, one day, that can change. I can only hope that each and every one of you realizes exactly how much I love you, even though people may say otherwise. Never ever forget that you all mean more to me than I could ever put into words.
Growing up, none of us really knew how to integrate me into the family. It might have seemed so easy at first, but it would never be easy to fit each of the puzzle pieces together. Think of it like this; we are all unique and wonderful in our own way, but when you put everyone in our family together, something never really seemed quite right. Someone was always mad about something and someone was always fighting with someone else over something. Usually it was me who got mad over something stupid, and I am sorry for that, but I never really knew where I fit into our large family. I was just so used to it being me and my mom that it was hard for me to let other people into my life. Even to this day, it is hard for me.
Now that we are all older and we all are leading different lives it is even harder to figure out how all of our puzzle pieces fit together. Before we know it all of us will be married, having kids, and be working full time jobs. It terrifies me that we will be estranged and that my children will have to grow up not knowing all of you. I do not want that at all. I would like holidays to be spent together, and I hope that we can all get behind a tradition where every month we have a huge get-together for no reason at all just so everyone can see each other and catch up on each other's lives. I want our families to grow together and be closer than we were when we were younger.
Please do not think that any of this is any of your fault. Nothing you have done has caused anything bad to happen. If anything, part of this is my fault for not trying to fit in better. I wish you all knew that I wish everything had turned out so differently. Hopefully, one day in the near future, things can be different, and we can have the relationships we want to have with each other, if that is still what all of you want. I truly hope you are proud of me, because I am proud of all of you. Maybe one day soon, we can see each other again, and things can be different this time around.
Like I said already, I love you all dearly; please remember that. Please know that not a day goes by where I do not think about you all.
Love always,
Your sister who misses you dearly
