The first time I saw you, I knew we would be friends forever. I was just a little girl and you a young boy. Sitting in our third grade classroom together, holding hands on the playground, to sell ice cream together at lunch, to talking every night on the phone, writing letters to each other and passing notes between class, and then it all stopped and you moved away, and to this day I miss you. Yes, we occasionally text each other now and then and it makes my day a thousand times better but I want to see your face. I want to make up for missed time with you. I want to be able to hung you. Knowing that you live so close but I am so afraid that if I show up at your house you will despises me forever.
If I knew what you meant to me now so many years ago, I would have never allowed myself to walk out of your life. I am so deeply sorry that I hurt you in so many ways. I am sorry that I chose what I thought was better, when better was right in front of me, better was YOU! I am sorry for all the trouble I have caused you in your life. I am sorry for not telling you sooner how much you mean to me. I am sorry for not running back to you when I should have. I am sorry that I have lied to you. With all the I am sorries there is so much to thank you for too.
I want to thank you for showing me at a young age boys and girls can be friends. Thank you for always staying with me after class or during recess. Thank you for always showing you cared about me. Thank you for all the presents that you have bought me. That I will never get rid of because they are from you. Thank you for staying up late and talking to me. Thank you for always listening to me when I would complain about my life. Thank you for never thinking I was selfish in the choices I made. Thank you for being you.
Not being able to see you makes things really hard. I know that I brought this all on myself for my stupid decisions years ago. But I want to be able to change it all. I want to be able to show you how much I care about you. I want to be able to show you that even though you might deserve better I want to give you my all. I want to be able to love you like no one else can. I want to be able to fight for you even though I already have you. I want to be able to tell you all my secrets. I want to be able to tell you all my dreams, but yet I want to be able to live my dreams with you. I want to be able for you to say “I have the best women around.” I want to be able to support you in the choices you make. I want to be able to sit in the audience when you graduate. I want to be able to cheer the loudest when you walk across that stage knowing you are following your dreams. I want to be able to tell you every day that “I love you.” I want to be able to come home to you. I want to be able to hug you and fall asleep in your arms.
I know that there is a slim chance that I will ever to get to see you again. I know that you deserve better than me. I just want you to know that I will try a million times to see you. I will never give up on seeing you. I will never give up faith. I know that there will be a day that I will be able to see you again. And when that day comes I will pray that it is not too late to show you how much I love and care about you. I know it will be the best day of my life, but I hope it is the best day of your life too. I hope that it will move forward with me being able to cherish you more and more each and every day. I hope that when the day comes, we will be able to fall deeply in love with each other and start a future together. Until that day comes, I will take just being able to text you. I will ask you a trillion times to see me, and one day you will and you will not regret it. Until that day comes just know I will be waiting.
