Personally, I've had thousands of moments when I have no idea what my purpose is or if I even have one. I believe everyone has a moment like this at some point. Life is hard, struggles are very real, and we can get so lost in that. Each day holds unexpected things. You may use a planner, like I do, and have things planned out day by day, but it doesn't always work out the way we write it in our planner.
The past couple of months of my life have not been the way I imagined them to be; unexpected things happened, and life got hectic. That's just the way it is, and it always will be. We will never be able to know exactly what's going to happen no matter how detailed we are with our planning and scheduling, and I think that's one reason why it was so hard for me to know what my purpose was. I constantly found myself overthinking and worrying about everything, even when it was extremely overdramatic and unnecessary. I questioned myself, struggled with making decisions, and worried about "what ifs."
So I started taking a new perspective on life. I am no longer going to view life as me writing down my plans in my cute color-coded planner. God is holding the colorful pens, and He is writing my life in His planner.
Ephesians 1:11 says, "It's in Christ that we find out who we are and what we are living for. Long before we first heard of Christ ... He had His eye on us, had designs on us for glorious living, part of the overall purpose He is working out in everything and everyone."
Live life with the mindset of living the life God has planned for you rather than the life you plan for yourself. It took me a long time to believe that His plan is better than mine, but my life has been so beautiful since I did. When I say my prayers every night, I don't pray for specific things to happen like I used to. Instead, I pray for God's will to be done. For example, I used to pray "Lord, please help me get into vet school ... help me find an affordable one bedroom house in Oxford ... help me have a good relationship with ______ ..." etc. I was so specific, and I was asking Him to give me what I wanted rather than what He wanted for me. But I eventually decided to take on the perspective of Him knowing better than I do. I changed my prayers to "Lord, please lead me to the career I'm meant to pursue ... help me find a home ... bring the person I'm meant to be with into my life when I'm ready ..." etc. And He did. I am no longer pursuing a career as a veterinarian as I planned; I am now working towards becoming a sonographer. I do not live in a one bedroom house in Oxford; I live in a beautiful home in Eupora. I am not in a relationship with anyone I ever thought I would be; I am with the most loving, supportive, and perfect guy for me. I'm happier than I've ever been, and it's all because of God's doing instead of mine.
I didn't think I had a purpose anymore because the things I wanted and planned didn't happen. But I started believing in God's purpose for me rather than my own, and I found my purpose. Hand over your pens to Him, and let Him write in the planner. You'll find your purpose.
