Yes, I'm "Too Nice" And I'm Ok With That

Yes, I'm "Too Nice" And I'm Ok With That

The day you need someone to brighten your day, I’ll be there, every time.
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For as long as I can remember, I’ve always heard the same thing, I’m too nice. Whether that’s a weakness or a strength, that differs depending on the day. Sometimes I think it’s a great thing, other times, it honestly sucks. I have always been the type of person to sacrifice myself to prevent others from feeling upset. And when that happens, that’s when the problems come in.

My biggest struggle has always been prioritizing others over myself. And as much as I try, it’s something that always seems to creep back up. I just have a hard time hurting people’s feelings. I would hate myself knowing that I’m the cause of their distress. And with that, I way too often decide to bite my tongue and swallow my pride.

Recently, my friends and I were talking about what our weaknesses are. At first, I struggled to think of just one thing, but I always came back to caring too much and being “too nice.” Naturally, my friends agreed.

It’s simply not in me to be mean. I can’t do it. Sometimes this really gets me down. I get frustrated that I don't always say what’s on my mind. But on the flip side, I love my heart, my compassion, and my empathy for the people who I care about.

For me, some things are simply better left unsaid. Especially when I’m in the early stages of friendship or don’t know someone too well. Often, I hide my unfiltered thoughts. But trust me, they’re there. But as my comfort level goes up, my need to always be nice goes down.

My kindness acts as a way to make sure I am looking out for my friends' best interest. If one of them is doing something stupid, I’ll tell them. If they are about to make a bad decision or already made one, I’ll be honest with them. It’s all about the delivery.

Being real shouldn’t be an excuse for being rude. Being straight-up doesn't have to be aggressive. Sometimes, being a good friend is about being “too nice.”

To me, being "too nice" means not letting my friends make a bad decision. "Too nice" means ensuring that you have their best interest in mind. "Too nice" means always looking out for your friends, but remaining honest with them. You don’t have to be mean to be truthful.

If being “too nice” makes some people think I’m a pushover, then I guess I’m a pushover. But at the end of the day, I don’t really care if someone thinks I’m too nice. Because I’m not. I’m strong. I have my own ideas and opinions. I am mature enough to know there’s a right time to speak and a right time to share my mind. I know that I always have my loved ones’ well-being in mind. It's just that I constantly think about how my actions and words will impact them.

And I’m the first person to admit sometimes this involves me sacrificing myself for them. But I know my kindness will brighten the day of my friends or family members. They know they can count on me to be there, boost them up, and always be their cheerleader, even when it involves telling them the truth. I’ll choose to be “too nice” any day.

We all could use a little kindness. So don’t knock those of us you deem “too nice." The day you need someone to brighten your day, I’ll be there, every time.

Cover Image Credit: Anatol Lem

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20 Rules Of A Southern Belle

It is more than just biscuits and grits.
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These unwritten rules separate the people that move to the South and were born and raised in the South. If you were born and raised in a small southern town, you either are a southern belle or hope you get to marry one. Their southern charm is hard to dislike and impossible to be taught.

1. Adults are to be answered with "Yes ma’am" and "Yes sir."

Whether it’s your parents, grandparents, or the person that checks you out at the grocery store, always say yes ma’am.

2. Always write a thank you note.

For any and everything. No gesture is too small.

3. Expect a gentleman to hold the door open and pull out your chair.

Chivalry is not dead; you just need to find the right guy.

4. All tea is sweet.

Below the Mason-Dixon Line, tea is made no other way.

5. Don’t be afraid to cook with butter.

I’ve never met a good cook that didn’t giggle a little.

6. “Coke” refers to all sodas.

Here in the south, this means all types of sodas.

7. Pearls go with anything — literally anything

And every southern belle is bound to have at least one good set.

8. "If it’s not moving, monogram it."

9. Pastels are always in fashion.

And they look good on almost everyone.

10. And so is Lilly Pulitzer.

11. Curls, curls and more curls.

The bigger the hair, the closer to Jesus.

12. If you are wearing sandals, your toenails should be done.

13. Never ever ever wear white shoes, pants, dresses, or purses after Labor Day or before Easter.

Brides are the only exception. Yes we actually do follow this rule.

14. Never leave the house without lipstick.

A little mascara and lipstick can work miracles.

15. Always wear white when you walk down the aisle.

Weddings are taken very seriously here in the South, and they should be nothing but traditional.

16. Southern weddings should always be big.

The more bridesmaids the better.

17. Saturdays in the fall are reserved for college football.

Whether you spend it tailgating in that college town or watching the big game from your living room. You can guarantee that all southerner’s eyes will be glued to the game.

18. Sunday is for Jesus and resting.

19. Learn how to take compliments curiously.

20. Have class, always.

Cover Image Credit: Daily Mail

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It's 2019, And I Can Confirm One Size Does Not Fit All, At All

I'll take feeling good over meeting your standards. Thank you.

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We live in a society where being yourself and expressing who you truly are is something that is becoming more and more accepted and is actually trendy. Left and right, people are coming forward and declaring who they are and want to be in life and there is a crowd of people there to cheer them on.

There is also always that small percent sitting in the corner, ready to throw derogatory comments and taint the self-love, respect, and acceptance that's flowing.

Every single time this happens, the internet breaks and feuds form in the comment sections. How many times does this fight have to be had before people just mind their own business? How someone looks is frankly none of your concern. Whether you think the person is too fat, too skinny, too girly, too rough, too whatever, it's none of your business.

I'm a firm believer that one should focus on their own life instead of living to tear others down. You should be more concerned with feeling good in your own body than wasting your energy trying to make people ashamed of theirs. It's not your place to comment on someone's appearance.

We should work on building up confidence and feeling good in our skin. Exercising, working on your mental health, and surrounding yourself with good energy will improve your life exponentially. DO NOT do this to achieve an aesthetic or try to look like an Instagram model. Only do it to feel good about yourself internally. What you look like on the outside should only matter to you.

I would be lying if I said I didn't fall victim to countless beautiful women who post their swimsuit photos looking like they stepped out of Vogue magazine. I would be lying if I said I didn't struggle with my own body image and have to remind myself daily that it's okay to not fit their mold. I won't lie to you. We live in a world that feels the need to comment on every inch of our skin rather than focus on more important issues. Shut off the noise and ignore the words that are given in hate. You have better things to do than focus on their negativity.

Make your own mold.

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