For as long as I can remember, I’ve always heard the same thing, I’m too nice. Whether that’s a weakness or a strength, that differs depending on the day. Sometimes I think it’s a great thing, other times, it honestly sucks. I have always been the type of person to sacrifice myself to prevent others from feeling upset. And when that happens, that’s when the problems come in.
My biggest struggle has always been prioritizing others over myself. And as much as I try, it’s something that always seems to creep back up. I just have a hard time hurting people’s feelings. I would hate myself knowing that I’m the cause of their distress. And with that, I way too often decide to bite my tongue and swallow my pride.
Recently, my friends and I were talking about what our weaknesses are. At first, I struggled to think of just one thing, but I always came back to caring too much and being “too nice.” Naturally, my friends agreed.
It’s simply not in me to be mean. I can’t do it. Sometimes this really gets me down. I get frustrated that I don't always say what’s on my mind. But on the flip side, I love my heart, my compassion, and my empathy for the people who I care about.
For me, some things are simply better left unsaid. Especially when I’m in the early stages of friendship or don’t know someone too well. Often, I hide my unfiltered thoughts. But trust me, they’re there. But as my comfort level goes up, my need to always be nice goes down.
My kindness acts as a way to make sure I am looking out for my friends' best interest. If one of them is doing something stupid, I’ll tell them. If they are about to make a bad decision or already made one, I’ll be honest with them. It’s all about the delivery.
Being real shouldn’t be an excuse for being rude. Being straight-up doesn't have to be aggressive. Sometimes, being a good friend is about being “too nice.”
To me, being "too nice" means not letting my friends make a bad decision. "Too nice" means ensuring that you have their best interest in mind. "Too nice" means always looking out for your friends, but remaining honest with them. You don’t have to be mean to be truthful.
If being “too nice” makes some people think I’m a pushover, then I guess I’m a pushover. But at the end of the day, I don’t really care if someone thinks I’m too nice. Because I’m not. I’m strong. I have my own ideas and opinions. I am mature enough to know there’s a right time to speak and a right time to share my mind. I know that I always have my loved ones’ well-being in mind. It's just that I constantly think about how my actions and words will impact them.
And I’m the first person to admit sometimes this involves me sacrificing myself for them. But I know my kindness will brighten the day of my friends or family members. They know they can count on me to be there, boost them up, and always be their cheerleader, even when it involves telling them the truth. I’ll choose to be “too nice” any day.
We all could use a little kindness. So don’t knock those of us you deem “too nice." The day you need someone to brighten your day, I’ll be there, every time.
