Think Before You Speak
Start writing a post
Politics

If You Don't Mean It, Don't Say It

"You're the worst thing that ever happened to me."

194
If You Don't Mean It, Don't Say It
Nacha Promsatian

Emotions are high during a fight; your adrenaline rushes and heart races. To top it off, everyone is participating in a screaming match, trying to out voice the other. As a child of divorce, and as just someone's child in general, I've seen many fights occur in front of me. From an observational standpoint and from my own experiences as a participant in a fight, I realize that everyone's biggest regret is saying something they don't mean.

"I hate you," "I never want to see you again," commonly used phrases by yours truly when I was an emo teenager. I once carved my stepdad's name and the phrase "I hate you" into the carpet of our house at the time. Yes, I was a troubled child (I promise I'm better now) but when we fought we both said things we didn't mean.

I never hated him neither did I never wanted to see him again, I just said it out of spite and they were my feelings at the time, that's why they felt so real.

Nonetheless, my stepdad is my family and it doesn't matter how much he wanted to get rid of me, we had to make amends. I consider myself lucky because in all reality, who would ever speak to a horrible person like my younger self ever again? Not me.

However, the things we say during a fight, whether we mean it or not can cause long-term problems. Sometimes saying things you don't mean can crush confidence, damage trust, and in the process of fighting you lose yourself. By losing yourself, I mean you say things you'd never say on a daily basis to one another, and we do this just so we can get the upper hand in an argument.

All couples fight for various reasons. Being best friends, we know who they are. We know which buttons to push to get them mad or sad, and other emotions that come into play in an argument.

I'm a prideful person overall, I stand my ground in an argument and would say anything in order to "win." Except, I shouldn't be trying to win in the first place. My real goal is to solve an issue with my partner but because I said something with the intent of hurting him, the chances to make amends has now decreased.

"I didn't mean what I said" is not a good enough excuse, how will they actually know if that is the truth. Our actions speak louder than words, and what he saw, was me yelling at the top of my lungs telling him how much I regretted the first day we met.

The case is, even if I really didn't mean it I already said it with so much emotion. He's going to remember it in the back of his mind like everything else I had already said to him. He's going to bring it up in our next fight because he never really forgot about it. I'm not blaming him, I'd do the exact same.

Things said by people closest to us hurt the most because we do value their thoughts and opinions. It's hard to back down, I get it. Backing down doesn't always mean you're weak. Backing down is a mature act portraying that you want to fix things, therefore you are being cautious of the things you say and do.

Remember that words hurt. If you need a reminder, think back to your childhood days to when a bully had said something mean to you or about you. Those emotions of sadness are real, you feel less of a person, so why are we saying mean things to people that we love when we don't even mean it at all in the first place?

Next time you have an argument with someone close to you, just take a step back, breathe before you say something you're going to regret.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Lifestyle

New England Summers Are The BEST Summers

Why you should spend your next summer in New England.

315
Marconi Beach

Three years ago, I chose to attend college in Philadelphia, approximately 360 miles away from my small town in New Hampshire. I have learned many valuable lessons away from home, and have thoroughly enjoyed my time spent in Pennsylvania. One thing that my experience has taught me, however, is that it is absolutely impossible to beat a New England summer.

Keep Reading...Show less
Entertainment

Fibonacci Sequence Examples: 7 Beautiful Instances In Nature

Nature is beautiful (and so is math). The last one will blow your mind.

234091
illustration of the fibonacci sequence
StableDiffusion

Yes, the math major is doing a math-related post. What are the odds? I'll have to calculate it later. Many people have probably learned about the Fibonacci sequence in their high school math classes. However, I thought I would just refresh everyone's memories and show how math can be beautiful and apply to physical things everywhere around us with stunning examples.

Keep Reading...Show less
the beatles
Wikipedia Commons

For as long as I can remember, I have been listening to The Beatles. Every year, my mom would appropriately blast “Birthday” on anyone’s birthday. I knew all of the words to “Back In The U.S.S.R” by the time I was 5 (Even though I had no idea what or where the U.S.S.R was). I grew up with John, Paul, George, and Ringo instead Justin, JC, Joey, Chris and Lance (I had to google N*SYNC to remember their names). The highlight of my short life was Paul McCartney in concert twice. I’m not someone to “fangirl” but those days I fangirled hard. The music of The Beatles has gotten me through everything. Their songs have brought me more joy, peace, and comfort. I can listen to them in any situation and find what I need. Here are the best lyrics from The Beatles for every and any occasion.

Keep Reading...Show less
Being Invisible The Best Super Power

The best superpower ever? Being invisible of course. Imagine just being able to go from seen to unseen on a dime. Who wouldn't want to have the opportunity to be invisible? Superman and Batman have nothing on being invisible with their superhero abilities. Here are some things that you could do while being invisible, because being invisible can benefit your social life too.

Keep Reading...Show less
Featured

19 Lessons I'll Never Forget from Growing Up In a Small Town

There have been many lessons learned.

89787
houses under green sky
Photo by Alev Takil on Unsplash

Small towns certainly have their pros and cons. Many people who grow up in small towns find themselves counting the days until they get to escape their roots and plant new ones in bigger, "better" places. And that's fine. I'd be lying if I said I hadn't thought those same thoughts before too. We all have, but they say it's important to remember where you came from. When I think about where I come from, I can't help having an overwhelming feeling of gratitude for my roots. Being from a small town has taught me so many important lessons that I will carry with me for the rest of my life.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments