As a woman, I can sometimes crave the attention and approval of others. I want so badly for people to think I'm funny, smart, and a great friend. I want others to validate who I am as a person, not the way I look. I don't mind physical compliments, but they aren't what makes me feel valuable. Anyone can look at a girl and judge her appearance, but that isn't all she has to offer.
In high school, a guy in my class followed me out to the parking lot after school one day where he then nonchalantly told me, "You're gonna make a really great porn star one day." I was 14. I only wore sports bras and baggy t-shirts the rest of the year. I felt belittled and uncomfortable in my own skin, and I lived in constant fear that the only thing people saw was how I looked.
When I was 17, I found out my boyfriend had been Snapchatting and texting another girl. When I confronted him, his response was, "I'm not gonna cheat on you with her -- your boobs are waaaay bigger." Again, I felt like the only thing I had going for me was my body.
It wasn't until I got to college and found a guy that compliments me on everything. It was a completely foreign concept to me that people saw my heart and appreciated it.
I point my blaming finger at the media of course, with ridiculous body standards and the constant sexulization of normal body parts. It has cultivated a society of shallow individuals who think their value comes from how many likes they can get.
There is a popular Twitter, Old Row, where college students can anonymously submit all things "frat." The Twitter account, which has has coined sayings like "No Fat Chicks" and "Admit nothing, deny everything" sent out a tweet earlier this month about Sadie Robertson, calling her a "buzzkill." Robertson, 18, is an author and spokesperson for her book "Live Original." She also posts inspirational videos encouraging a positive lifestyle.
In her most recent video, she encourages young people to see past their body and recognize their worth. Her passion for young people and her boldness to stand up for what she believes in is what earned her the negative comment. Old Row does not popularize healthy habits but instead creates the disillusion that partying, alcohol, drugs, and #ShackerSunday is the only way to live it up in college.
As I kept scrolling through my Twitter feed, I saw where one of my friends from high school sent out another depressed tweet because she struggles with body image. She honestly believes she peaked in eighth grade because that's the last time she was comfortable with the number on the scale. As a nursing major and someone with common sense, I can tell you for sure you are not done growing in eighth grade. She was bullied as she gained weight, and she felt like all people saw were the extra 20 pounds around her midsection. As her friend, I can tell you she is passionate, smart, brave, and genuine.
Women are more than their bodies. Women are a strong, independent, loving, and wildly compassionate species. They are to be treasured and are made to be known in their entirety. It's critical for us as a generation to band together and stop believing the lies that say we aren't good enough. To encourage each other will put the people that choose to focus only on our outward appearance in their place. I refuse to sit on the sidelines and let women believe their only value is in how they look.
