SONDER; a noun. the realization that each random passerby is living a life as vivid and complex as your own—populated with their own ambitions, friends, routines, worries and inherited craziness—an epic story that continues invisibly around you like an anthill sprawling deep underground, with elaborate passageways to thousands of other lives that you’ll never know existed, in which you might appear only once, as an extra sipping coffee in the background, as a blur of traffic passing on the highway, as a lighted window at dusk.
This week I went, as I often do, to the theatre to see a play written by two of my friends. The play is called Sonder and it is the coming of age story of seven women. Told through a brilliant combination of monologues, scenes, music, and dance, Sonder is a piece I wish I could share with every girl, because I think every girl was in it. Though, as much as I appreciated the beauty of what Sonder was, I would also like to recognize it for what it was not.
This was not a play where characters were in conflict with one another as the driving force of the plot. This was not another family drama. It was not a story in which one beloved heroine overcomes her fears just in time to come in and save the day, and get the guy in the end too.
As the audience, we got to watch these women walk through shared and individual struggles. They dealt with issues ranging from sexual assault, eating disorders, and loss, to childhood memories, marriage, and pregnancy. And just like in life, there was no deux ex machina; no happy endings tied up in a little bow. The ending simply left me with a hope that the characters would keep growing and changing and learning along the way how the freedom they knew in childhood could translate into who they are now becoming.
But something overwhelmingly simple yet undeniably incredible did happen.
They supported each other. These women were not competitive or catty. They were not jealous or fake. They were not stereotypes. And I needed to see this on stage. I need the world to see this, because as a woman, I am not a stereotype either.
The characters in Sonder were outstanding because they were real people. I've met them, I've befriended them, I've known them, and I've been them. Sonder is a piece of art which I believe can help prove to society what I think women have been trying to prove for decades and that's this: women are interesting characters. Audiences will and do care about their lives, goals, passions, dreams, friendships, and more. Also, women must empower one another. Her success is your success is my success. And Sonder was just that: powerful women I'm lucky enough to call my friends claiming success for themselves and each other.
So I'm off to celebrate.
