Have you ever found yourself saying, “I wish I could…”? I have. I’d say something along the lines of how I wish I could have gotten a better grade on that test or I wish I could go up to that person and say hi or compliment them or say thank you for your service.
I have been thinking about this a lot recently. I was looking back on my freshman year and while I loved it, I wish I did some things a little differently. Sometimes I found myself sitting in my room surrounded by work that wasn’t due for another week while my friends and roommate would go out. This left me wishing I could go out with them. I was wishing as if I couldn’t, but that wasn’t the case.
Every time I say I wish I could do something, I could do it, I just choose not to.
Other times I find myself wanting to go up to someone to either compliment them, thank them, or just to say hi. However, I always stay where I was - just wishing. I was wishing I could go up to them like other people do, but I couldn't.
I always feel like I am being judged for everything I do. This feeling makes it difficult for me to live freely, because I'm always thinking, “Who is going to judge me for this?” or I will start to judge myself by thinking what other people will think.
Another reason I hold myself back is that I am scared. I am scared of what could happen. Who knows, I could have gone out that night and it could’ve been the best night of my life or I could’ve gone up to someone and said hi and that conversation we had could change one of our lives. On the other hand, that night could've been the worst night or that person could have ended being mean and walking away, but I will never know. I am too scared to find out what could happen.
Do you ever go through life wondering what other people are thinking of you? Are you too scared to do what you want to do? I know how you feel, but we can overcome it. How? I haven’t completely figured that out yet.
Just remember that it is your life, not anyone else's. If it is something that you want to do, there is no real reason as to why you shouldn’t, especially if it will make you happy or feel good.
My goal for this summer and my life moving forward is to not let my head get in the way of doing something I want to do. I don’t want to continue to be scared of what is going to happen or keep thinking about what other people are going to think. It’s not going to affect them, so why do I continue to ponder what they think? This is something I want to work on as I go forward and move on with my life.
As Babe Ruth once said, “Don’t let the fear of striking out keep you from playing the game.” Listen to Babe Ruth and live your life fearless and how you want.
