Why You Need An "I Will" List Right About Now

Why You Need An "I Will" List Right About Now

Stop saying "I wish" and start saying "I will".
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I found something on my laptop the other day, hidden in my notes section that I wanted to share. It was an “I will” list. I created it over a year ago when I was going through a lot. I went through many life-changing events which caused me to struggle with who I was and who I wanted to be. With all of these thoughts rattling around in my mind, I decided to numb my constant worries with hours and hours of NCIS episodes. In one of the episodes, Ziva (who use to be a main character) created a list as a child. One of the other main characters, Tony (who left the show as well) found her list she had written as a little girl.

At that moment, that list was exactly what I needed. I needed a reason to get up and preserve every morning. I wanted to give myself a push in the right direction, to become the best version of myself that I can be. So, my list is short and simple but, complex at the same time. These goals can be interpreted many different ways. It doesn’t tell me how to pursue my goals; I have to figure that on my own.

Growing is something hard for me to do. Because growth means change and I am allergic to adapting (it doesn't mean I don't try). However, I have come to embrace the punches that life throws at me. Because, if I don't, I'll be missing out on what life has to offer. By facing my fears head-on, it allows me to bloom and thrive in a way I hadn't.

My dreams are different than they once were and I am the happiest I have ever been. I’m changing and growing for the better, day by day. It just goes to show that my list can follow me in any situation that I’m in. It helps me to feel comfortable in my decisions and who I am. It gives me something to strive for and to turn my dreams into a reality. Life isn’t simple, but it gets a little easier once you know what you want out of it. Sit down, make a list and stick to it (or alter it, because things change a people change) Check up on yourself (and your list) every so often and have faith in what will be. Before you know it, you'll be taking the world by storm.

I remember writing my list, but I had forgotten all about it. Looking at it now, over a year later it puts a smile on my face. Because, the fact is, I’ve changed a lot this past year, meaning I’ve followed my list without even knowing. An I" will" list is more powerful than you may think. Anything can follow it, and it's up to you to make those decisions. The world is full of endless possibilities, what are you going to will for yourself?

Cover Image Credit: Emedco

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Sorry I'm A Size 00

But I'm not really sorry.
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My whole life I’ve been thin—which is kind of an understatement. Every time I go to the doctor I get the same “you’re underweight” lecture that I’ve heard every year since I was able to form memories. I’ve never really felt insecure about my weight, I love being able to eat everything and not gain a single pound. Since my freshman year of high school I’ve probably only gained 8 pounds and I’m now a sophomore in college. Of course, in school, there were rumors that I was anorexic or bulimic, but everyone who knew me knew that was far from the truth. I’m now 19, 5’2, and I still have yet to break 100 pounds on the scale. It seems that there is a lot of skinny shaming going around and to me, one of the main contributors to that is the Dove Real Beauty campaign.

You’re probably wondering where I’m going with this because skinny girls get all the praise and other body types are neglected. That’s really not true, though. While loving other body types, you are tearing down skinny girls. Why is it okay to do that to skinny girls but not to other body types? Why is it okay to say “only dogs like bones” or say “every body type is beautiful” until you see a model's abs, or ribs, or thigh gap and then tear them down because they’re “unnaturally” skinny?



The point I’m trying to make is that, as a naturally skinny girl, I have never shamed anyone for their body type, yet I go every day and get at least two comments about my weight. I’m always the skinny girl, the toothpick, but I’m not Jessica. Yeah, I’m a size 00. Get over it. If you have an issue with my body and feel like my body is disgusting to you, don’t look at it. I know that I’m healthy and I don’t need your input when my body just naturally burns calories fast. I don’t have an eating disorder and never have. I am real beauty though, and I know that because I’m comfortable in my own skin. So maybe the real issue is that we as a society have been shoving certain body types down our daughters’ throats so they begin to romanticize models that have certain standards that they have to meet, who work hard for the bodies that they have, and are making a hell of a lot more money than most of the people discussing why they look emaciated while what they’re actually looking at is the photoshopped product.

I’m not going to apologize for being skinny when that is just how my body is, I can’t help it. So please, stop tearing my body down while trying to bring your body up. You can praise your body without shaming skinny girls. Shaming me for being thin does not make you better than the man that shamed your body, just as me shaming you for being curvy does not make me better than the man that shamed my body. As women, we need to love each other because we are the only ones who truly understand each other.


Cover Image Credit: Victoria's Secret Untouched

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Today Was A Bad Day, And That's OK

It's the little things that matter the most.

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Today was a bad day.

I had a nightmare last night. It was so vivid and realistic. Some nightmares I can easily forget about, but this one was difficult to push out of my mind. I woke up in cold sweats, my heart was beating fast. I genuinely felt sick to my stomach. I wish I had never dreamt what I had dreamt. The nightmare really messed me up. It was all I had thought about for most of the day.

I couldn't focus on my school work. I definitely couldn't stay focused in class. I had a pop quiz that I was not prepared for, and there was already too much built-up stress from just the past two weeks. I felt like I couldn't go on with the rest of my day. To keep it somewhat short, things just weren't going my way. I was being too hard on myself and my anxiety was through the roof.

As dramatic as it may seem, this nightmare was too personal, too scary, too heartbreaking, and not too far-fetched. Words cannot explain how dark I had felt today. It brought me to a place I thought I had moved on from.

Today was a bad day, and that's okay.

I got a call from my dad and a text from my mom, both encouraging me to move forward and not stress. There was reassurance in my dad's voice and through my mother's words. Words reassuring me they would always be there for me and loved me.

I took a trip to Gino's with my roommates. That burger was hitting, onion rings and all. These were the "perks" of my day, and though they don't seem like a lot, it meant the world to me.

It truly is the little things that can make your day. Like a call from your daddy, a text from your mama, or a trip to one of your favorite burger spots with some friends. The littlest things help you put things into perspective. These little things came to me at a point where I genuinely really needed them.

These little things distracted me from the most terrible and scarring nightmare. These little things are the things that remind me to move forward, ever stronger. These little things are the things that remind me you can turn a bad day into a good day, but only if you allow this.

Today was a bad day and there's no doubt that I will have many more. That's okay, because it's about the little things that really matter.

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