Far too often, we, as humans, become too critical of ourselves. We think of how we could be better... but oh, it's too much work. Or, we get into our minds saying that we'll never reach that level of "perfection." But in all honesty, there is not one person that I can think of that is perfect. Not even any celebrity that I adore. While I am guilty of being envious of others' lives, I am fully aware that they have their hardships. I may never know what they are going through, but everyone has their own problems; whether they are outwardly visible, or whether they are on the inside.

As of recently, I have gotten into a bad habit of saying "I cannot" when a problem arises; and I have absolutely no faith in myself to get through it and see that I do have the ability to complete it. Sadly, my constant saying "I cannot" has started to irritate those around me. Especially my boyfriend, Mitchell - so I'm trying.

I'm trying to stop ruminating and start taking action. I want to be better for not only those that have to constantly deal with my pessimism that I have accepted as my reality, but for myself. I am trying so incredibly hard to start saying "I will" instead of "I cannot." While I know I can't fix my thought process as quickly as one can blink, nothing is going to stop me from bettering myself.

It's so easy to think that everyone is out to get you when you're in a low mood. Advice can easily seem like a criticism. The inability to think calmly and rationally is completely understandable. I constantly feel like everything anyone says to me when I'm already being extremely critical of myself is just another push closer to the edge of a breakdown.

"You're not good enough" is a thought that is always present in my mind. And Mitchell finally told me when I was okay that he doesn't think anyone ever is. And if I was already being extremely hard on myself, that would just be the icing on the cake for me to turn my hermit mode on 100%. But, it's true. If I'm not good enough right now, that doesn't mean it solidifies who I'll be three months from now. I can keep getting better. Maybe I'll be good enough soon; and then maybe I'll surpass being just good enough.

We're constantly changing. We're capable of almost anything that we put our minds to. My goodness, if man has stepped foot on the moon, I can prevent my bad thoughts from making me a Negative Nelly. Humans are beautiful in the way we can shape ourselves, with some effort, into who we want to be.

I can and will be a better human. I am not my bad thoughts. I am not my depression, nor my anxiety. I am a strong human with a bright future.