Growing up, I was what some people call a Hellion -- a tiny little body with a face set in a constant smirk and enough attitude to put every Pop Diva of the time to shame. Everywhere I went, I would roll in like a hurricane, two muddy Converse trekking on white carpet, singing some ‘70s rock song that had lyrics brazen enough to make my mom’s cheeks turn pink if anyone besides my immediate family heard.
I constantly pressed the envelope, but within certain parameters; I knew the minute my parents said my full name with clenched teeth and raised eyebrows that it was time to back down. People saw me as a force to be reckoned with, but one filled with curiosity to learn and to live, not with obnoxious vengeance or prideful yearning.
This was the thing about my charming yet slightly startling spunk; I wholeheartedly believed in how I lived. I was never sorry for asking too many questions or wandering off in a crowded store. I wanted to explore and take in every opportunity possible, even if that meant touching the stove when my mom said it was too hot or going too deep in the ocean after my dad said I would not be able to touch. I was unapologetically irrepressible, and I loved every minute of it.
Eventually, I somewhat mellowed out as I grew older. With that being said, I did go through a stage where I wore feathers in my hair and a shirt that said, “Hippies -- Est. 1965.” Then there was an emo scene where my eyeliner was thicker than my eyelids themselves. Society tends to zero in on young teenagers, conforming us to certain standards and social norms yet I still found my ways to rebel against a sea of sequined Uggs and Victoria Secret’s PINK that plagued my middle and high school years.
I didn’t realize the importance of my fiery disposition until I reached college. Everyone is trying to figure themselves out in these four years -- and believe me, I am, too-- but through it all, I still have a sense of who I am and what I have trust in. I believe in courage and tenacity and a fierce sense of independence that only certain types of personalities are able to possess. I cling tightly to my fervent sense of passion for life each and every day. I believe in going against the status quo, even if it means I'm standing alone. I am perfectly content in being myself, a hundred and ten percent of the time, even though I know that the person I am today is different than the person I was six months ago, and how I will be six months from this very moment.
As a child, I was vicariously determined to do what I wanted, when I wanted, and how I wanted. I walked my own line and it got me in trouble plenty of times, but it often proved more worthwhile in the end. I look back and laugh because what was once a child’s stubbornness is now a strong-willed sense of direction. A magnet for trouble has become an impetuous adventurer. Above all else, a wild child has turned into someone who refuses to settle for the ordinary -- and that is worth everything.
