Life hands out difficult situations to everyone. Small or big. As humans, when we don’t like something, we ask why. Why am I lonely? Why am I overweight? Why am I failing my classes? The answer people usually give themselves is not satisfying or helpful. Why am I lonely? Because no one loves me. Why am I overweight? Because I’m lazy. Why am I failing my classes? Because I’m stupid. This doesn’t help anyone grow or change their circumstances. It only victimizes the person.

Instead of asking why, ask how. How can I have companionship? How can I become healthy? How can I do better in school? When someone asks themselves how, rather than why, they are taking the first steps in changing their situation. They are not picking on themselves, or (to be blunt), whining (which isn't attractive on anyone). Instead they are taking responsibility for what is happening. They are making the choice to change the situation.

After asking how, take the steps needed in order to adjust what needs to be changed. Research the internet, read books on the subject, interact with people who inspire you. Basically, follow through on the question you asked yourself. Find the answer.

Be conscious of when you ask yourself why, and change the question to how. It’s important to be aware of when you are not doing anything to help your situation. When you are aware you can make a change and ask yourself a better question. Doing this can change your whole outlook.

Oprah Winfrey, a famous talk show host, was told she wasn’t good enough for television early in her career. If she had asked herself, "why did this happen to me," instead of, "how can I prove that person wrong," she wouldn’t have become a successful, famous, billionaire.

Thomas Edison attempted to make the lightbulb over a thousand times. If after many failed attempts he had felt sorry for himself and gave up, he would not have succeeded and we wouldn’t have the lightbulb that we use today. Instead, he (probably) asked himself productive questions. How can I make this work? How can I improve my invention? How can I succeed?

These are just a few of the many examples of people who took control over their life. Use them to inspire you for your own story.

Remember this quote from William Ernest Henley if you are ever blaming the world for your problems.

“I am the master of my fate, I am the captain of my soul.”