As young adults, we avoid feelings like the plague, whether they belong to ourselves or others. We are non-confrontational and prefer to just "deal with" things until they blow over. We say "it's fine" when it most certainly is anything but fine, and then we wonder why we're so alone and sad and why boys suck and why that one girl won't text us back when the answer was right within us this whole time: We make it socially acceptable.
I can't tell you how many times a boy has treated me so terribly that I'm sure if his mother knew what he did, he would have gotten a slap in the face, and I replied, via text, with the classic "it's fine." In the moment, I never really think much of it; it's just a way of avoiding saying things I don't want to say and helping myself not hear things I can't bear to hear. But in reality, that simple sentence has made respect obsolete.
When we tell someone "it's fine," we are literally saying "the action you committed is okay by me and you can do it again with no consequences." When we SHOULD be saying "The way you treated me was absolutely not okay and it needs to never happen, to anyone, again." We are making disrespectful behaviors socially acceptable as we passively continue to accept half-hearted apologies.
You don't have to accept every apology you receive. Forgiveness is a cherished gift that needs to be earned. However, this doesn't mean you have the right to go around and be a b*tch to this person. No matter how heartless they seem, they too have feelings that deserve respect, you just have to make sure they respect you and that they actually are sorry and meant it.
It's time we start standing up for ourselves, because yes, even you deserve better. We should not have to settle for mediocrity and emotional despair within our relationships, especially of those in which we are clearly the one trying the hardest. The reason you probably feel like "just another one of his options" is because you allow him to treat you like a convenience, not a priority. You are smart. You are important. You deserve the world. Don't let anyone cause you to forget that.
