Right after "Jessica Jones" came out, I marathon watched it. I couldn't get enough. I became kind of obsessed with it. I'd find myself continually thinking about Jessica and different episodes. I really wanted other people to watch it so I could talk to them about it. Part of the reason why I got so into it was because I could kind of relate to Jessica, and parts of this series were a sort of cathartic experience to watch. The story was well done and the actors did an incredible job. Earlier tonight I was scrolling online when I saw something I had kind of suspected would be out there before, people shipping Kilgrave and Jessica. I was actually kind of surprised it took me so long to stumble on it, I knew it had to be out there. What got me was after I saw it, how much there was.

Let me back up a little bit and try not to give away any spoilers. The show "Jessica Jones" is about a woman with super strength. The show follows her as she struggles with getting over her ex-boyfriend, Kilgrave. This isn't some cutesy show. Kilgrave has the ability to mind control others, and uses it to make people do horrifying things. Jessica isn't struggling because she loved him. She has PTSD flashbacks that haunt her, and she tries various methods to cope. Their relationship was abusive and Kilgrave is obsessed with Jessica. Kilgrave proves time and time again that he will stop at nothing to get what he wants. The show makes it clear that Kilgrave is a sociopath and he has performed horrifying sexual assaults. The show does create a back-story for him, but it also makes it clear his actions are inexcusable.

I try not to judge people for whatever they are into; that's kind of their deal. There are so many fandoms out there, and while I may not understand some of them, I think it is a cool way to bring people together. I feel different about the Kilgrave fandom because it tolerates a lot of things that should not be tolerated. David Tennant, the actor who plays Kilgrave, is an extremely charismatic actor and has played other roles, such as The Doctor on "Doctor Who" brilliantly. David Tennant is also a really good looking guy, which seems to be one of the first things people in the Kilgrave fandom point out and is a terrifying argument. Letting someone get away with horrible crimes because they are "good looking" is a really terrifying premise.

"Jessigrave" also seems to ignore all the horrible painful moments where Jessica lets down her walls to show how she much of a horrible impact Kilgrave had on every aspect of her life. She turns to self destructive means, such as heavy drinking and random hook-ups. Jessigrave turns Kilgrave's creepy obsession with Jessica into cute and romantic gestures. The show makes it clear that while Kilgrave did various things to get Jessica, they are by no means anything that Jessica wanted. There are several times when you see how delusional Kilgrave is about how Jessica really feels. Jessica wants to move on with her life, she meets someone she actually does want to be with and Kilgrave does whatever he can to trap her with him for his own happiness. Kilgrave doesn't love Jessica for her, he loves having control over someone that is a challenge for him.

There are so many things that horrify me about the Kilgrave/Jessica dreams some people have, but the worst is just how unhealthy the relationship is and people being OK with that. Here are all the signs of domestic violence from the CDC that apply to Kilgrave and his relationship to Jessica and another girl he dated briefly that is introduced in the show:

• Pressuring you to have sex when you don’t want to or do things sexually you’re not comfortable with
• Preventing you from working or attending school
• Destroying your property or threatening to hurt or kill your pets (or loved ones in Kilgrave's case)
• Intimidating you with guns, knives or other weapons
• Taking your money or refusing to give you money for expenses
• Looking at you or acting in ways that scare you
• Controlling who you see, where you go, or what you do
• Preventing you from making your own decisions.

This matters because I truly believe we don't teach kids what a healthy relationship really is. If people are upset that Jessica doesn't want to be with Kilgrave just because he's hot and ignore all of the horrible things he does, that's terrifying. Don't make excuses for a fictional character still being desirable after treating their romantic partner like crap because that can translate to real life real fast.

I love "Jessica Jones" because it is a powerful show with a powerful message. It's the first show I have seen that accurately portrays what it feels like for many people in getting out of a relationship with an abusive sociopath. I'm thankful for the show, but I'm not so cool with people completely trivializing what the show was about.