Why The Month Of March Sucks

In like a lion, out like a lamb? Yeah, right. March, while in college, is much more like that pet monkey you thought was a good idea but then goes AWOL and unexpectedly rips your face off. March is like the agonizingly long wait time at a restaurant after ordering your food. It feels never ending; there are moments of false hope when you see your waiter heading towards your table with food, only to realize that it is for the people next to you.

I did not anticipate March to be this terrible. No one briefed me before I came to college about how much the month of March sucks. No one. It’s like this dirty secret that no one wants to talk about. March arrives without warning, whether you like it or not. It is an inevitable part of the year that you must simply push through like Spongebob and Patrick in the perfume department.

You may arrive at April 1 crawling, battered, and bruised, but you will have come out a survivor. Why, you may be asking, is March so miserable?

First, there is course registration. No matter how your registration is conducted, it is an overwhelming, stressful, and painful experience. A million thoughts run through your head as sweat begins to bead on your face… So many courses to choose from. What are graduation requirements? Have I completed any of these requirements? This course looks great! It’s a 300-level? Nevermind! What if I don’t get into any of my classes? How am I supposed to make decisions when I don't even know what I want to do with my life?

Next is the struggle of finding a roommate. For many, this may not be an issue at all. You could have a best friend that you’ve mutually decided to room with already. However, that is not the case for many others. Asking someone to room with you might as well be the same thing as asking someone to marry you. Again, thoughts run through your head. Do they want to room with you as much as you want to room with them? What if they say no? The roommate selection is also known to tear apart friendships. How do you decide who rooms with who in a friend group? Someone is bound to be upset and tensions are for sure going to be through the roof. It is a scary and stressful selection process. This is real commitment; there is absolutely no room for error here or else you will live all of next year in misery, and full of regret. There are so many aspects that must be taken into consideration.

Rooming selections lead right into the next painful part of March: housing. You have wished on every 11:11 for the past month that you will receive a good lottery number. Eventually, judgment day will come and you will find out if the universe will reward you or punish you for the last year. Will your room have lots of natural sunlight and good heating or will you end up living in a dark and dank basement room?

After course registration, roommate selection, and housing, that leaves the weather. You have already made it through the brunt of the winter and are desperately hoping that spring arrives soon. All you want is to finally wear shorts and enjoy the warmth of the sun. Instead, you are left with gross slush and mud from the snow melting, and temperatures that range from 10 degrees to 60 degrees on any given day.

At least there’s March Madness… well, until the team you have winning it all loses in the first round.