The reality of dating is; you either break up or get married. You either spend your nights wondering 'what if', or next to your special someone. You either find the love of your life or get heartbroken. But what happens if you experience both?
Let's get personal.
I have had one true love. I know what you're thinking, I'm so young and have no idea what's ahead of me. And you're 100% right, but that is why the thought of something new is terrifying.
After things ended with this one-of-a-kind guy, things in the dating scene seem 100% more intimidating than before. This boy I've been talking about has taught me how to love one another, how to enjoy things in the moment, and how to cherish the little things. Ever since we have gone our own ways, I have seemed to forgotten how to do these things. No, it wasn't some blowout fight, there was no drama, it's not a juicy break-up, it was simply just a break-up. But he gave me the chance to figure what I want, the type of man I deserve, and where I see myself in the future.
This is why I am scared.
The thought of putting myself out there only to be disappointed, or defeated, or broken hearted is a scary idea. When you already know what a good relationship feels like, it's hard to convince yourself to try again.
Dating is about opening yourself up to someone else, finding a connection, and trying new things. The thought of that is something I can't put myself up to. And that is OK.
Coming to terms with yourself and realizing that you aren't ready for something as emotional as dating, is a strong suit. It is a power move. It is something that a lot of people can't do. Why put yourself in a situation that you aren't ready for?
Because of this, I have become a confident, independent woman. A woman who wants the best for herself, someone who is spontaneous because there is no one to tell me 'no', and a person that can't wait to see what each day brings.
So, this is me, not putting myself out there. This is me, taking time for me. And this is me, learning from past love to find a new.