Everyone has a sob story, right? We've all endured some hardships and had our own pity party. Something that makes these tough moments in the life easier is having people there to help. The problem is some people become obsessed with this attention. They love being the victim. They begin to constantly create situations for themselves where they need others' empathy. However, these people lack empathy themselves, so they probably won't be there for you when you need them.
This is what narcissism is.
Most might define this as someone who is just really obsessed with himself or herself. This personality disorders stem much, much further than just enjoying some extra time staring at themselves in the mirror.
According to Mayo Clinic, "narcissistic personality disorder is a mental disorder in which people have an inflated sense of their own importance, a deep need for admiration and a lack of empathy for others. But behind this mask of ultra-confidence lies a fragile self-esteem that's vulnerable to the slightest criticism."
These are the people who hurt you, and then get mad at you because you're upset with them for hurting you in the first place. These are the people who don't understand how you feel unless they find themselves in the same position. These are the people who manipulate you, beat you down, and try to make you feel worthless.
These people are toxic.
You are allowed to cut toxic people out of your life. A narcissist will somehow make you feel wrong for wanting to get rid of them, because no matter what it's always you who will be the bad guy since they're too wrapped up in himself or herself to realize you have feelings, too.
I've dealt with two narcissists in my life. I had the displeasure of living with both at some point during my life. They each tried to ruin the best relationships I've ever had, one with a family member and one with a partner.
They criticized me for my actions, yet did the same. There's always an excuse for them, but the rest of us are left trying to play their twisting game. (Hint: you're always going to lose.)
These are not good people. You are not the bad guy; they are.
If you know someone who shows these signs, try to disassociate yourself. Your mental health is important, so don't let anyone mess with it.
You are allowed to be hurt. You are allowed to have emotions. But you are not allowed to drag someone down for your own benefit. You are not allowed to hurt someone, listen to them tell you that you hurt them, and then get mad at them. You are not allowed to twist the story so you end up being the victim when in reality you're the cause of the pain.
Moral of the story: If you hurt someone, apologize. If someone hurts you, tell them.
Be nice.
