I write to grasp a clearer understanding of the diverse world that engulfs me through interacting with others. I write to relieve stress from the constant, overwhelming pressure I feel from every test, paper, quiz, and assignment I must ace to acquire an A. I write to extinguish the excruciating panic I endure from overthinking, overanalyzing, and obsessing over every single detail in life. I write to organize my thoughts in a way that I become absorbed into a state of serenity and bliss where no harmful relationship, friend, or job can touch me. I write to ignore all my problems in the hopes that I won't have to confront each one. I write with an old mechanical pencil that squeaks with every streak it takes against the paper. I write because it's the shining light at the end of the dark tunnel. I write because it's my best form of communication. I write to live a life without the hardships and challenges that come with reality. I write to ignore the real world and escape into a fantasy where anything is possible.
I write to escape the watchful eye of society. I write to forget about expectations that rise from the labels that society places on me. I write to discover the truth. I write to demolish the lies. I write to accept my insecurities that are viewed as flawed and problematic. I write to take back control of my life through identifying problems I often overlook. I write to solve my problems. I write to run away from my responsibilities. I write to break out of my shell and bare my soul open to the world to discover my own secrets and feelings. I write to dive into establishing social connections to improve my mental and physical health. I write to gain self-confidence and self-esteem. I write to make rational decisions affecting my wellbeing. I write to stay calm, so I don't work myself into a frenzy over all my mistakes and flaws. I write to express my feelings so that all my emotions aren't bottled up. I write to lose control. I write to unleash the tears I hold back.
I write to relinquish control in my life to become a rebel determined to do whatever they want. I write to temporarily not be my own enemy. I write to experience freedom. I write to not think. I write to keep me from reaching my breaking point to prevent a full out hysterical breakdown. I write to rant. I write to scream. I write to cry. I write to communicate information among a variety of platforms to impact people's lives. I write to inspire people. I write to entertain people. I write to warn people. I write to make heads roll by making people question their thoughts and feelings. I write to give in to my impulses. I write to avoid drama. I write to procrastinate. I write to persuade people into embracing my innovation.
I write to maintain balance in my life. I write to be happy. I write to feel safe. I write to feel healthy. I write to feel alive. I write to become a better listener. I write to become more educated. I write to play with fire. I write to challenge myself. I write knowing I can easily fail. I write knowing my words are sharp and choppy. I write knowing I can easily succeed. I write when it's late at night. I write early in the morning. I write to quench my thirst for pleasure. I write to fuel my hunger for knowledge and success. I'm still writing, despite the humiliation that washes through me in hot waves that feels worse than death. I keep pushing through despite continuously contemplating on hitting the delete button. The words would vanish from the page as if they never existed. All would go back to normal, but now it all unexpectantly makes sense. The words that flow ever so abruptly throughout this list represent my weaknesses and strengths. They're hazardous, insecure, unsafe, unpredictable, and parlous. Through writing, I gradually free my body of the thoughts that threaten to drown me. The thoughts are risky and ugly because they come from a deep unknown territory of my brain that desperately wants to be heard. I write as though I'm cleansing myself from self-destruction while also exploring whom I wish to be.
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