I hate wasps. I hate them with such a fiery passion. It's no joke. Unfortunately, wasps hate me just as much.

I've lived in Georgia for close to seventeen years so I'm used to the summer heat, but you will never hear me say that I love Southern summers. In fact, I hate summers in Georgia with a passion. The reason why isn't just because of the ridiculous temperatures- it's because summer is party time for every single creepy crawly nasty bug in existence. It's bad enough that we're out here sweating the second after we step out of the shower- but we have to protect ourselves from these creatures too?

Here's the thing: you might share a bit of the same anger towards these demonic flying insects but it isn't the same type of resentment that people who truly hate wasps express. Until you have feel trapped and the same emotion of danger anytime you step outside, you won't understand what I go through.

I have been stung ten- yes, TEN- times by wasps. I have been alive for eighteen years, and there's no doubt in my mind that the entire population of wasps on the planet is dead-set on making sure my number of stings is equal to my age soon. I can point out every single wasp sting location I have received, but here's is a quick list of just how many stings my body has endured and where:

a. 1 in the center of my forehead, right between my eyebrows

b. 1 on the backside of my hand, on the same day as a)

c. 2 on both of my temples, both within the span of a week

d. 2 on both of my elbows'

e. 1 on the center of my foot, right below my second toe

f. 1 on my ankle- this one was in my 2nd-grade classroom from a wasp that was dying and decided my sock was its enemy

g. 1 on my knee

h. 1 on my forearm- the aftermath of this one is featured in this article's header photo. I spent my last summer picnic with my best friends from high school writhing in pain and icing my arm. Notice my best friend in the background making beautiful chalk art and enjoying her evening because wasps don't hate her. I don't blame them. She is the nicest human being ever.

That's a total of ten wasp stings people. Ten. Ten too many.

Part of the theory that wasps have a lifetime vow of vengeance on me is justified (in my mind) by reincarnation. I am South Indian, which means I'm also Hindu (though this is not necessarily true for every spicy brown person). I believe that we have gone through previous lives and continue in this cycle of existence until we don't. That's where I think this target has been placed on my back. I feel like at some point in a past lifetime, I must have done something really horrible to all wasps ever, either as a human or an animal or even a wasp myself. I was probably a bird that killed their wasp queen or something. Because why the heck else would every wasp I ever see immediately want to kill me? They literally charge at me guys.

Just so you don't think that I'm out here smelling like a dozen roses and showering in the most aromatic scents, let me just say- I do wear perfume and deodorant. I use the Calvin Klein Eternity Perfume and it is perhaps the most amazing scent ever. BUT that is not why wasps sting me. Oh, you don't believe me?

According to the American Chemical Society, "If you've ever been stung by a bee or wasp, you might think the attack came out of nowhere, but bees wasps will only sting when they feel threatened...they are social animals." Like...what??? They only sting when they feel threatened? What, by my walking from my garage to my mailbox? By me drawing chalk art with a whole group of 10 other people who are totally available to be stung? Also, only female wasps have the ability to sting AND their stingers don't fall off after one time so ideally, they could continue stinging me if I had somehow become immune to the poison after ten wasp stings over eighteen years.

I'm also not out here threatening these bugs by swinging my arms and running every time. I do the whole "stay calm, don't bother it and it won't bother you" routine. Nothing works, people.

Now that you have read just how much wasps hate me, here's a quick (not really) spiel of why I will always hate wasps.

1. They sting me for no damn reason.

2. Picnics are a no-go because they are drawn to the food and then realize your ugly self is just waiting to be stung.

3. They like to invite themselves into your house and pretend like you broke into theirs. (Trust me, I'm an animal lover but now is not the time for the "humans took over their habitat first" argument).

4. They are the trolls of bugs and their only purpose is to bully those around them. Only a few species actually pollinate and save flowers. So take that, you insect-loving freaks.

5. It's proven they are trolls of bugs because they laugh after they sting you by buzzing and aiming for your face.

6. Sometimes, they are sneaky little rats that find their way into your food. If you end up swallowing one, they can still sting you from the inside.

7. They are also sneaky because they ninja themselves around to stinging you and you won't realize until after they have attacked.

8. If you don't immediately evacuate the war zone, they will come back with all of their stupid friends.

In conclusion, I am beyond ecstatic that it is practically winter now in Georgia and that temperatures don't rise about like 71 degrees Celsius. Thank you, Mother Nature, for giving me a break from these aerial spawn of Satan attacks.