There have been many times throughout my life, as with everyone else’s, where true curveballs have been thrown at me for seemingly no reason. The type of things that just leave you dumbfounded, and often broken in some way. The ones that knock you to your knees and leave you totally at His mercy. And being on your knees and looking up at Him is the best place to be, in my opinion.

During these times I often find myself calling out to God in agony, “Why me, Lord? Why did You do this to me? Why not XYZ person?” or, “Why me, God? Why do I deserve this right now?” or worst of all, “Haven’t you already put me through enough? Can’t you give this struggle to someone who has a (seemingly) perfect life?” It’s a natural reaction as the flawed and selfish humans that we are, but it is not the appropriate reaction.

As Christians, we know that everything happens for a reason. We may not always like that reason, but our God loves us and does not put us through unnecessary suffering just to spite us.

Our cry out to God shouldn’t be one of agony. We need to convert those desperate pleas into constructive inquiries. Instead of shaming God for giving us a hardship, we need to remember that God gives His toughest battles to His strongest soldiers. It is no longer, “Why would you curse me with this hardship?” but rather, “For what purpose did you throw this obstacle at me to help me become a better son/daughter to You and better sibling, friend, child, etc to those around me?”

Imagine if we all approached our struggles with open hearts ready to be molded by God, rather than with resentment and hesitancy. Change is inherently a part of life. Some of it will be joyous and exciting, while other times it will be scary and ruthless. One of the hardest lessons I have recently had to learn is that sometimes God has to take away everything you think you know and love to wipe your slate clean. Once you have a clean slate to start with, you can dedicate yourself to Him and fundamentally change who you are for the better.

God stripped me of the person I thought I was going to marry, my best friend, and many of the emotional securities I had. I have never hurt as much as I have in the past few months. However, I now know (after spiting God honestly) that these things happened because I was not being the best version of myself to these people, so I had to be removed from their lives so that I could grow and not hurt others the way I previously hurt them.

Once I stopped cursing God for tearing my life apart, I realized He was just really trying to give me the opportunity to convert all of my flaws into strengths and recognize that I needed to seriously change my ways.

One of the hardest things to accept as a Christian is that our God not only creates joy but also sorrow and hurt. However, it is never His goal to cause us unnecessary hurt and agony. He has a reason for everything. Instead of praying away our burdens, we need to start welcoming them and allowing them to make us stronger and more faithful.