As a parent, I'm sure a lot of you feel you're entitled to brag about your child, assume your child is better than other children, or belittle other kids that you feel don't compare to your kid. Here's the thing because I've been faced with this situation-and others like it-a few too many times.
It doesn't matter if you believe your straight A kid will make hundreds of thousands of dollars every year, but you know someone else's kid won't.
YOUR CHILD IS NOT BETTER THAN ANYONE ELSE'S. We all have some type of talent; something that drives us. I want to be the best interior designer I can possibly fathom, and sure a doctor or lawyer will make a lot more money than me (most likely), but at the end of the day I know that what I'm doing is exactly what I want to be doing, so I would never make someone else feel shitty for following their dream.
There are actually people out there that go to school to study something solely based on the income that follows. That means that for the rest of their life they're going to get up and do a 9-5 job (maybe even longer hours) doing something that they don't actually love, but pays well. Imagine how exhausting that is for someone's mental health? To truly only want a career based on the income, and not based on anything your mind or body is telling you.
Then on top of that-you have parent's bragging about how far their children will go because of the money they one day-might-be making.
"Well she may not be the happiest 40-60 hours a week, but she'll definitely have money when she needs it, and that's all that matters!"
Just some food for thought, but as a parent, how could you possibly want that little for your kid? To be okay with them spending the majority of their life not being happy? To me-it doesn't make sense.
It does not matter if you believe your kid has a talent that other kid's do not! If a coach wants their ass on the bench, accept it and stop putting other kid's down for your own insecurities about your child!
As a daughter of two amazing coaches, I often get a front row seat at the disrespect that is continually thrown to my parents.
"My daughter has more talent in her pinky finger than that girl does in her whole body!"
"My kid gets yelled at all the time! Take your anger out on a different kid for once!"
"How can't you see that my kid has worked all summer long?! She deserves a starting spot!"
1.) Your daughter has more talent in her pinky finger than another girl has in her whole body…IN YOUR OPINION. That's important.
A view or judgement formed about something, not necessarily based on fact or knowledge.
Did you read it? Okay good. Now read it again.
You want to know something funny Parent number 1 & 2? Parent number 3 & 4 also believe their daughter is much better than yours. Their kid scores more, and another's is a better defensive player. Not all of this is true, but it is all of your opinions.
Did you ever think instead of taking out anger on the people controlling the playing time, that the better answer is to accept the fact that different kid's possess different skills-no two kids are alike, and no one is guaranteed playing time.
Which means= *drum roll*
You need to get your head out of your own ass, and teach your kid to rise above "failure" and persevere.
2.) My daughter gets yelled at all the time—Well... someone has to, right?
I guess I keep coming back to my own high school and coaches. No one cried after getting yelled at, and if they did they just had to run more. I didn't go right home and tell mommy and daddy all the mean things the coaches said…
Because if I did? My parent's would've shown me the ways in which my coach may have had a good point.
Parents are coddling their children like they can't touch a single sharp object without exploding into a million little pieces.
What is going to happen to your child one day when they're in the real, adult world, and get yelled at by their boss? Do you think mommy and daddy are right in making a phone call to the SVP complaining about why he/she needs to be more easy on your baby?
No? It's called growing up and accepting the hard truths the world is ALLOWED to dish out.
3.) How can't you see my daughter has worked all summer long- give her a starting spot!
She worked all summer long.
So did the other girl.
And the other girl.
And the other.
Everyone is working.
Everyone is improving.
Everyone is getting better.
Nothing is handed to anyone.
Teach that lesson.
Bragging about your child only teaches them that bragging is okay, and trust me from experience, being associated with someone that brags constantly, is no fun task.
I recently started working with someone who brags constantly.
About how great their body is.
About how good looking they are.
About how any person would be lucky to have them.
It gets so tiring hearing someone else go on and on about themselves. And truthfully? It's super unprofessional too. When I hear someone in the workplace brag about their accomplishments, it makes me want to get to know them way less.
On both a personal and professional level.
Sure you can tell me how smart you are, how fun, kind, pretty, popular, and driven you are-
But please believe I'm lumping conceited into that mixture of wonderful adjectives too.
I started to really wonder why this person was like this. Did she just gain this fake confidence to show people it in hopes some of her insecurities wouldn't show? Maybe she just needs someone to tell her bragging really isn't cool, and to maybe wait for some of those qualities to be recognized by other people before jumping the gun..
Then I met the parents…and boy oh boy, the apple does not fall too damn far from the tree.
"I got this with all the money I make! I make a lot of money each year, and you should see all the cool stuff I can buy!"
"My house is so much nicer than anyone else's on the block. Seriously just look at it!"
"Have you seen my golf swing? Man, I'm doing so great."
Like I said, e.x.h.a.u.s.t.i.n.g.
Part of me started to feel a little sorry for my coworker because I could tell she was kind of lonely. I then automatically blamed the parent for teaching their child that talking like this was okay and an acceptable/normal way to gain friends. It's misleading to parent this way and your kid ultimately suffers.
Parents, I'm saying this as an outsider looking in because no-I'm not a parent yet.
HOWEVER, I have had two amazing role models in my life who I'm lucky enough to call my parent's, and I do believe they have taught me several amazing messages.
1.) A janitor is just as good a person as a CEO of a company.
-The sun doesn't rise and set on your intelligent child. If we are recognizing them for the great Chem test they just passed, then please recognize me or the several other art students on the entire building we just redesigned from top to bottom.
2.) Just because you disrespect coaches does NOT mean your child will have more playing time!
-Learn to teach your kid a valuable lesson here…not every person is an athlete, and even if they are, not every child deserves playing time. This doesn't mean your child isn't a good player, but maybe they have a shitty attitude. Ask yourself where they learn that from, and try again!
3.) Bragging only leaves your child with whatever they're bragging about and no one to brag to! Not one person from my high school that bragged, walked away with people genuinely liking them. Other people DREAD having to deal with braggers. It's not fun, it's not enjoyable, and you sure as HELL don't want to befriend them.
Every lesson that you teach comes with a price, just make sure your kid isn't the one failing.