Whoever Said That Geese Flock South For The Winter Was Wrong

Whoever Said That Geese Flock South For The Winter Was Wrong

The march of the Canada Goose.

As the winter approaches, temperatures drop and precipitation falls, an influx of geese by numbers beyond belief flood Ann Arbor’s very own University of Michigan. Elementary school lessons of birds’ annual migration to the south for the colder temperatures obviously didn't include those from Canada!

Ugh — how could one forget about THE Canadian Goose?

They’re terrifying. They’re so tall, and they’ll stop at nothing. Not even for the Ubers on State Street. They trek in flocks, boys and girls alike. There’s the occasional red, blue, green or grey goose, but the majority of them are the black, fur-hooded parka. Emphasis on the black fur hood, because the Snapchat selfie is complete only when the hood peaks over the camera.

The red, blue and white circular emblem doesn’t help much either, for it makes it even more impossible to differentiate between the geese. If you’re lucky, you will be looking for someone wearing a red or grey goose, but there’s usually only one per flock.

These geese plan for their seasonal flock before winter even starts. In fact, the planning begins during the springtime, when newly committed college students ask their temporary college friends what winter apparel they’re buying for the tundra: Canada Goose? Moncler? Sorrel? LL Bean?

It’s all a mystery until you breathe a sigh of relief when your social media feed shows a plethora of girls in the same jacket that you have. I, too, am guilty of being a goose, though I am first breaking mine out now, the opposite of others who, when the temperature drops below 60 degrees, break theirs out from the back of the closet and celebrate the beginning of the season.

Now more than ever, parents are thankful for the geese. The trend that they set and standard that they hold ensure any mother that her child will be more than willing to bundle up for temperatures below zero in order to avoid the plague, something that not even University Health Services, the most trusted medical facility in all of Ann Arbor, can cure.

The one problem, though, is that the geese are always stolen by others who are certain that the one they picked up was theirs. The solution, of course, is to get yours monogramed! What could be better than one’s initials, in any color, on the inside of his or her coat? NOTHING. Such embroidery is guaranteed to prevent stealing.

The geese rely on their prey for their survival, but that is never a problem, for the majority of the 50,000 students here at the U of M are from California, Florida, Pennsylvania, New Jersey, New York and Michigan, of course. A combination of such perfect territorial prey is sure to keep the economic and social integrity of the brand. If not, though, celebrities such as Jimmy Fallon and Emma Stone are almost certain to advertise just enough to make you prey too.

There is absolutely no doubt that the Canadian goose does just its job: to have all $900+ dollars of the world’s best insulator trap the heat on the walk to Angel Hall.

With such prestige, it’s understandable why one cannot resist buying THE Canada Goose. All arguments about animal cruelty are obsolete because Canada Goose “believe[s] all animals are entitled to humane treatment in life and death, an are deeply committed to the responsible use and ethical sourcing of all animal materials in [their] products.” Gee(se), thanks!

Whether a Michigan Wolverine by summer or a Canada Goose by winter, it’s always great to be. Go blue, go Goose.

Cover Image Credit: Jacqueline Yackow

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Beauty Tips For The Person Who Oversleeps

A three step process that is sure to work.

Early mornings are no one's friend and might even be on the list of the worst things. I know for me personally I love laying in bed watching videos or scrolling through my feed. However, when it comes to makeup, early mornings do not mix well.

Makeup does not have to be a hassle. These three simple tips I live by on most days when I am feeling a bit rushed. Here are some tips if you want those extra, precious minutes in bed and still want to make it out the door looking fresh and renewed.

1. BB Cream!!

You can never go wrong with BB Cream. This is not foundation, so it will not take time to place and set. This is a cream that has a foundation color, but not the consistency, and has many added benefits like protecting your skin from the sun, while hydrating, brightening, enhancing your skin, and smoothing over fine lines. It only takes minutes to apply so when you are running out the door just rub this cream over your face for a little glow and this will perfect your skin in minutes.

2. Pop on some Mascara.

This is the beauty product many people say they need in day-to-day life and some might even say their face looks naked without it, so why skip the step in the morning rush? Mascara only takes a couple minutes or even seconds to apply and enhances your lashes so your eyes look more awake and fresh. Luckily, mascara looks great on its own and you do not need eye shadow or any extra steps on the eyes if you are running behind in the mornings. This tip will make your eyes pop all day long.

3. LIPS

Putting anything on your lips before you leave the house always completes any look. If you do not like heavy lipstick or a matte weighing you down, even putting on a chap stick or lip balm will hydrate your lips after sleeping all night and will help you look and feel refreshed for a brand new day. Now, if you do like a shine or a more completed look adding a gloss, lipstick, or liquid lipstick to your beauty routine when you oversleep is the perfect solution for completing your look. Adding some color to your face will make you look renewed, even when rushing.

Hopefully my go to tricks help those who tend to oversleep or sleep in like I do.

Cover Image Credit: https://static.pexels.com/photos/698158/pexels-photo-698158.jpeg

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Your Go-To 'Syllabus Week Outfit,' According To Your College Major

Your professor's eyes versus your eyes.

For many of you, syllabus week is the most boring and fraught week of your college career.

You are figuring out if your schedule fits your lifestyle, if you actually want to take this certain class because the professor is apparently “easy”, or that you signed up for classes last minute and you are trying to get your shit together. And of course, you do not want to dress the part of your major. But, a great deal of professors like to see you dress in the appropriate uniform.

Let’s imagine for a second and see what you would be wearing according to your major in your professor's eyes versus what you would want to wear instead.

1. Business Majors

In your professor's eyes, "dress for success" is the way to go. But, no one wants to dress like that for class during syllabus week. You would want to wear a basic tee, jeans/sweats, and finishing off with your favorite pair of Nikes.

2. Nursing Majors

Scrubs. That's what your professor would want you to wear to class just so you can get the feel of it. You, on the other hand, would want to wear an outfit that feels like you're wearing scrubs but not wearing scrubs.

3. Biology Majors

You're most likely are taking a lab course for your Biology major and you have to wear the suitable gear for safety precautions. Sometimes the lab coat can get old and all you want to do is wear a tee with something on it that says you love science.

4. Psychology Majors

Dressing in business casual attire can get old and who has the money to buy it for the semester?! Professors don't put that into perspective, especially during syllabus week. You just want to wear a reverse psychology shirt to mess with people's minds and possibly your own.

5. Criminal Justice/Political Science

Professors definitely want you to dress the part of this major to be taken seriously. But, you just want to dress in the Ivy League university sweatshirt that you may get accepted to along with some leggings during syllabus week.

6. Education Majors

No student likes to dress casual for class (no matter how cute the outfit is). Just throw on a cute shirt that states you're a teacher and you are good to go.

7. Engineering Majors

This one was hard but you have all different aspects of engineers. Your professor would like to see you struggle with what to wear for your major, anyway. You, on the other hand, would just like to wear a tracksuit and call it a day.

8. Finance/Accounting Majors

Your professor's eyes would be fond of you sporting the daily suit or pencil skirt. Your eyes would be crisscrossed because you are an accounting major.

9. Communications/Journalism Majors

The way your professor pictures your major outfit is something you would see on the streets of Manhattan. But, you just want to wear your high-waisted Mom jeans with your knock-off Gucci loafers.

10. Fashion Design Majors

Face it. You are the one who is always stylish whatever you put on. A lazy outfit is not in your vocabulary and closet. Keep doing you, boo!

11. Film, Video, and Photography Majors

Your professor would like to see you have on a baggy button-up and ankled pants with a director film hat. Since you are a free spirit, you wear every article of clothing in your closet and just roll with it.

Cover Image Credit: Unsplash

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