An orchestra of roaring magical music pours out of the walled speakers. Credits roll down the animated screen and the movie is over. I am inspired. The world of creativity calls me once again; I wish nothing more than to answer it.

I don't know about you, but for me walking away from a movie or turning the final page of a new book ignites an inspirational fire in my belly that I wish I could bottle up. I would place that bottle on my nightstand and reach for it whenever I doubt myself.

The other night I went to the movies to see Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them. I left the movie believing in the magic of creativity and felt the urge to run with it in my writing and any other way I could. However, during my walk to the bathroom (it's a long movie and I drank a big slushee) a small, yet strong thought popped into my head.

"Don't bother feeling inspired, you know life will go on, drain you and you'll lose that inspiration by Monday while agonizing over the dishes."

I believe this was my fear talking.

For too long I let fear dictate my passions. Growing up I had a shallow belief that if I wasn't going to be the best at something, whether it was acting, writing, cooking, whatever, that I shouldn't even bother attempting it. The fear of failure and not being well received by my peers made me stop cold in my tracks.

Years later I continue to struggle with this. I hide my passions, such as writing, from friends and family for fear of public ridicule and rejection. Though I believe my biggest fear is not living up to my own expectations.

Inspiration and passion will build up inside of me with such ferocity that I truly believe I have something worth while to create and share with the world. Unfortunately, just like the other night at the movies, the passion is quickly drained by the tormenting voice in my head.

Other writers will tell me to keep working, to march on past the fear or simply embrace it; to use that fear in my writing. People will tell me to read more, to never give up and to share. Moments after these conversations I'm once again inspired to run with my gut. I want nothing more than to feel my passions come alive. But then that thought creeps in. "Why bother? You're not even that good. It's not worth your time." And for some sad reason I start to believe it. So then we people ask how my writing is doing I make excuses, "I'm too busy. I just haven't had the time." The truth is, I have the time, but I give that time to Netflix. Damn you Netflix!! What I'm really trying to say is that I give that time to my fear.

I've recently been reading Stephen King's memoir, On Writing A Memoir of the Craft.

I think it's come into my life at an important time. A time when the doubt can tip the scale or the my passion can. At the end of the section I just read he explains that coming to a blank page (such as this one once was) needs to be taken seriously. If for some reason I can't or won't, then he explains, I should close this book and do something else. Bam! Think about that for a minute...and you bet I did. I can and will take my writing seriously. It may not always be pretty, but I can't stop, won't stop. Recently I've been working on listening to my gut more and not my head. My gut is on fire. It's a mix of fear and excitement. I refuse to ignore that anymore!

Before I wrap this up, I want to thank my dad.

*Cue tears rolling down my cheek*

My dad has watched me struggle with these fears. He's watched me hide my writing and any sense of pride that may come with it. Because of this he's asked me for one thing and one thing only. A rejection letter. All he wants is for me to put myself out there, get rejection and realize that I'm ok. That my writing is ok and to never give up. Writing, really any passion in life, takes work. It also takes an honest look at yourself and your true motivations. Writing makes sense when other things don't. I write for me.

If you happen to like it, that's a bonus!