When You Said "Forever"
Start writing a post
Relationships

When You Said "Forever"

This one is for my younger, brooding, passionate, naive, 14 year old self.

187
When You Said "Forever"
@breswanderingthoughts

Dear 14 year old Bre,

Forever. It's what you base a lot of promises on. Best Friends Forever, being friends forever, Happily [For]Ever After, Forever in love with [insert chosen celebrity here], etc. This very word will also be the root of your heartbreak. Don't worry, I don't mean with boys, at least not romantically. I mean mostly with Friendships. No, in romance, you know to be a little wary of the word "forever", but the word draws you in more so with friends. In a couple of years, you will soon become anxious of falling out of friendships. Your heart will literally ache from the thought of not being friends with the ones you thought you would be friends with till your dying breath, and it probably started from a very specific occasion that has already happened.

He said "forever". Remember? You were tempted to believe him at times. You were about 13 or so, and he said you two were meant to be, and you called him stupid for saying that.

Good for you!

You two were best friends for like 3 years. Everyone was convinced you would be together, but you denied any feelings for each other vehemently to your families faces all the while texting each other about being "best friends forever" one night and not speaking the next. It was a vicious teenage cycle. It was like being stuck in a telenovela, you were both passionate teenagers with the whole world that was left to conquer. Both very poetic in your own right; he wanted to take on the world by using his voice on the microphone and you wanted (still want to) to take on the literary world. We tried convincing each other that the life we were living wasn't really "living".

You naively made emotionally attachments to one another. Saying things like "I hope that even when we get married to someone else we are still friends" remember? or "Of course we will still be friends, why wouldn't we be?". Denying yourselves constantly because committing to your feelings was far too scary, and because your feelings couldn't be acted on. Which for the record, you will be really glad about in the future. The nature of your "relationship" became fragile, but you began to depend on each other, and I guess that's what made it hard when he directly told you that he didn't want to be your friend anymore. He said "You know...best friends normally end up together, and I don't know about you, but I don't want that with you". I remember thinking how I was happy it was night that way no one would be able to see me tear up. It felt like my heart broke into pieces. I didn't even know why it was breaking.

See when he said "forever" you thought he meant it, even if you didn't believe the "meant to be" part, it still hurt. But I'm glad it wasn't forever. I really am.

As the years goes by, that statement would come back to haunt you. After your time with your "anti-Christ" you'll keep repeating that phrase in your head. You will think, "maybe he was onto something" , and other self destructive thoughts. Your ego will be hurt and it will turn from narssistic anger to self-pity and anxiety. You will think things like "if he didn't even want me, what makes me think I am good enough for someone else", you will be convinced that forevers are no longer existent. Yeah, you're a bit of a brooding type of chick, but, I suppose you know that.

When you start High School and move past your anti-Christ phase, you'll notice a spike in your anxiety levels. You'll be anxious about what to do with your life, what will happen after highschool, and more than anything you'll become anxious as soon as you feel a rift or conflict with any of your friends. Adults will tell you that nothing is forever and you won't be able to maintain these friendships after highschool anyway, and that'll cause you more anxiety because you can't imagine letting go. That'll be a struggle you'll probably have for a bit, you know... letting go. In the end, you'll realize, they were right. After you and your "best friend" stopped being friends you will read a plethora of books about teenage friendships and romances and they will infuriate you because they will reflect me. You will read these books and plays and realized the fragility of the word "forever" when used among humans.

Then things will start to change in your life and in his life...quickly. You won't want him as a boyfriend or anything, You will just want your friend again. But "forever" is a heavy word, and I suppose he realized the weight of that word before you did, because he had the strength to walk away from what would have been/ was a toxic friendship. No one else saw it, but he knew more than anyone that it wouldn't end well.

This will probably be one of the only instances where I am grateful and happy that a promise was broken.

Then when your dad passes away, he will be there at the memorial. He along side his family, and your bitterness will sort of fall. Because even though he broke "forever" he didn't break away from who he is. You probably should let go when he apologizes for "whatever" he did, but you won't because he didn't know why you were upset. You never got to tell him exactly how he hurt you, so it was counted as invalid.

Then one day, don't ask me how, you will get over all of it. Genuinely. You will find myself thinking about how you hope everything was going well for him. Hoping that he would be the man he wished to be. I suppose if misery loves company then joy does too. Because when you start to feel like you are coming back to life and into your own groove of things again, when you felt like you are partially finally living the life you want... you will wish the same for him. We may not have many "forevers" in this world, but sometimes that's ok, because broken "forevers" can turn out for the better.

Don't worry, you will learn from the experience, and it will make you a better person. You will no longer anxious about things like "forever", you'll have some good friends in the future, and you'll have some really great friendships, all of which wouldn't have been possible had that forever not been broken.

If worst comes to worst, you can always rely on your sarcastic humor. Loads of people love that, especially in college. Don't be afraid to be yourself and don't be a loner. You'll only hurt yourself like that. Trust me.


Love,

Older Bre.


Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Student Life

Top 10 Reasons My School Rocks!

Why I Chose a Small School Over a Big University.

94580
man in black long sleeve shirt and black pants walking on white concrete pathway

I was asked so many times why I wanted to go to a small school when a big university is so much better. Don't get me wrong, I'm sure a big university is great but I absolutely love going to a small school. I know that I miss out on big sporting events and having people actually know where it is. I can't even count how many times I've been asked where it is and I know they won't know so I just say "somewhere in the middle of Wisconsin." But, I get to know most people at my school and I know my professors very well. Not to mention, being able to walk to the other side of campus in 5 minutes at a casual walking pace. I am so happy I made the decision to go to school where I did. I love my school and these are just a few reasons why.

Keep Reading...Show less
Lots of people sat on the cinema wearing 3D glasses
Pinterest

Ever wonder what your friend meant when they started babbling about you taking their stapler? Or how whenever you ask your friend for a favor they respond with "As You Wish?" Are you looking for new and creative ways to insult your friends?

Well, look no further. Here is a list of 70 of the most quotable movies of all time. Here you will find answers to your questions along with a multitude of other things such as; new insults for your friends, interesting characters, fantastic story lines, and of course quotes to log into your mind for future use.

Keep Reading...Show less
New Year Resolutions

It's 2024! You drank champagne, you wore funny glasses, and you watched the ball drop as you sang the night away with your best friends and family. What comes next you may ask? Sadly you will have to return to the real world full of work and school and paying bills. "Ah! But I have my New Year's Resolutions!"- you may say. But most of them are 100% complete cliches that you won't hold on to. Here is a list of those things you hear all around the world.

Keep Reading...Show less
Lifestyle

The Ultimate Birthday: Unveiling the Perfect Day to Celebrate!

Let's be real, the day your birthday falls on could really make or break it.

42592
​different color birthday candles on a cake
Blacksburg Children's Museum

You heard it here first: birthdays in college are some of the best days of your four years. For one day annually, you get to forget about your identity as a stressed, broke, and overworked student, and take the time to celebrate. You can throw your responsibilities for a day, use your one skip in that class you hate, receive kind cards and gifts from loved ones and just enjoy yourself.

Keep Reading...Show less
Featured

Unleash Inspiration: 15 Relatable Disney Lyrics!

Leave it to Disney to write lyrics that kids of all ages can relate to.

68417
The 15 most inspiring Disney songs

Disney songs are some of the most relatable and inspiring songs not only because of the lovable characters who sing them, but also because of their well-written song lyrics. While some lyrics make more sense with knowledge of the movie's story line that they were written for, other Disney lyrics are very relatable and inspiring for any listener.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments