When I was younger

I used to put books in my backpack when I was in preschool

because I wanted to look like I was in high school

When I was younger

my mom used to come to class with me

and read to the other kids during story time

she doesn't do that anymore

When I was younger

where the wild things are told the story of my youth,

the story of my displacement in school and the lack

of "coolness" I had when it came to being a "cool" kid

When I was younger

I tried to not "look" like a nerd

because who really "wanted" to look like a nerd?

When I was younger

I didn't know what death meant

until I went to my first funeral and didn't cry

somehow I knew then and there

death was inevitable and the panic

attacks that come with me talking

about it are normal

...or so I think

When I was younger

I didn't know exactly what I wanted out of life

but somehow knew I wanted to be in school

for a long damn time

When I was younger

I had chubby cheeks

I lost those now

if you find them, let me know

When I was younger

I think about when I didn't really

care about who didn't like me

wish that was still a thing

we all care too much sometimes

When I was younger

I never wanted to grow up

and now I cannot imagine my growth

without it, funny how that works, huh?