I determine how my whole day is going to go by the way my experience from home to school is via subway. If the subway car is too crowded, if someone is a shover and decide they need to make their presence known at 8:46 AM, if I have enough change on my person for a cup of coffee, each can really pass judgement on a Wednesday for me.

But there comes a time in most young adults' lives where, although the way the breeze just hit you like a ton of sporadic bricks, feels like the universe telling you to grow the fuck up, it could very well be intuition too. I've come to a point in my life where bills need to get paid, internet isn't free anymore, and if I miss rent by a day I'll have my landlord after me. Still, a simple gust of wind is not the result of your shortcomings. We are after all, inclined to have a bad day.

That being said, when addressing karma, it is something we tell ourselves exists when your manager tells you to get off your phone but you are in the middle of a very important sext that will transcend all of your feelings about finals into a gooey unimportant mush. Justifying all the negative things that have happened to you with an unprovable cause of reason is unhealthy but we all do it. I am the first to read my tarot and horoscope and immediately feel crippled with anxiety about doing anything that could do more damage to the situation at hand.

This is an interesting time to be discussing signs because we are approaching the end of May's Mercury retrograde. A time where the planet Mercury appears to be moving backwards in the sky, an illusion that has been seen in astrology as a time where certain events in your life and others around you seem to regress and fall back, I plan to celebrate the end of the retrograde on the 22nd and sign off on all official documents needed because the signs said to be cautious this moon cycle. A bit superstitious you might think? Totally. Absolutely, instinctively ridiculous.

Sometimes you have to sit with yourself, sober minded and vulnerable and ask if what you are doing is what is beneficial to future you. The universe is always going to be sending signals that you can take or miss whether by choice or accident. We all want to believe that we know what's best for ourselves, however, perception is a subjective little shit and it's not as singular as it could be.

For me personally, I've experienced a lot of changes in my life that I wasn't ready for, I've traveled, experienced loss and regret, but I also really got to know who I am. Who I am lived in Italy for four months by herself and made the best of what would have been an implausible circumstance a year prior. Who you are doesn't need a sign from the universe or an easy subway ride to determine how you go about your day, that decision is your sign and it is not cosmic, it is in your nature.

So, if you need to blame karma for your bad day at work, go for it. But you can also say it was just a bad day and that tomorrow will be better because you want it to be.