I am not so much struggling with the winter blues (I’m utterly obsessed with winter, duh) as I am just struggling with the blues in general. If we are being honest, getting out of bed has been extra hard for me these past few weeks upon returning to school. I have been finding it difficult to have/obtain motivation, leave my apartment, and really nail down a routine.

I know that this isn’t necessarily a bad thing so much as it is just an annoying thing, and I know the blues can get the best of all of us. They really sneak up on you. Speaking of which, I really hate calling the blues the blues because what did the color blue ever do to any of us? Why must the color blue be associated with sadness? Whatever the reason is we have this term, my neutrally-colored rut is here nonetheless.

I am such a go go go planned out person, so much so that the fact that I’m in a rut is making me feel like I’m in a rut because I’m in a rut because I’m in a rut because I’m in a rut…. Do you see the cyclical problem here?

It’s such a darn shame that I’m only human. This life comes with mountain tops and valleys and no one is exempt from either. I am not exempt from either. You are not exempt from either.

My neutrally colored rut does not have a one-time cure, but it does push towards certain feelings that need certain fixes and happy moments to make me feel better. If there’s one thing I am trying to train myself to do it’s listen to my body. I have become so stubborn that I even ignore her sometimes.

I would encourage you dear reader to evaluate how much you listen to yourself and your body verses how much you ignore it. I know how easily we get swept away with our busy schedules. I know how the endless demands of this life are perpetually distracting us.

I beg of you to keep in mind the simple fact that to-do lists come and go, but this body that you are lucky enough to have is the one you are stuck with for life. You have to take care of it and tend to it, you have to listen to its pleas and demands. I promise it won’t lie to you.

I am borderline addicted to continuity when it comes to my weekday schedule, but sometimes my little heart just needs a little change. Continuity can become such a heavy, obligatory burden if you let it, and I’m speaking from experience.

I have completely rearranged my bedroom this semester and it honestly made me feel way better than it should have. Even the little things like changing my nail polish color, getting a coffee I normally wouldn’t, or wearing a different pajama set to bed can lighten my heart.

I would encourage you to spice things up a bit, maybe just in the tiniest way, and see if it lightens your mood, even if it’s just a little bit. I am so strict on myself and my schedule and it makes my load heavier than it needs to be. Loosen up a bit. I’m speaking to myself here too.

Another thing that is so freeing that manages to turn into an obligatory burden is the way we get to spend our time. There is no harm in saying no to an event or night out you previously said yes to. Reality is, you don’t owe anything to anyone. No explanation is necessary. It is good for you to spend a little time with yourself.

I wish I was all about the night life all the time, but the truth is I’m not. Don’t get me wrong, I totally enjoy staying up past my bedtime with my awesome roommates or going to concert with my best friend, these are a few of my favorite things in the whole world. But people exhaust me. Being social drains the heck out of me.

Last Friday night I was in my pajamas on the couch watching Netflix by 7pm and it was awesome, it was restful and it made me happy. As much as I would’ve loved going out to Bryan and people watch, my body and mind were telling me to stay, so I did.

Be kind to your mind and your body and take care of it just as intentionally as you would if you were taking care of someone you deeply love, because you should deeply love yourself. Eat a huge breakfast. Eat a healthy dinner. Take a bubble bath. Listen to your favorite music. Have a dance party in your kitchen. Do a face mask. Watch your favorite movie. Go to bed early. Go for a run. Laugh a little louder. Train yourself to value and treasure yourself.

I didn’t know where this article was going when I started it, and now that I have arrived here at the end, I suppose I just wanted to let the faint and weary heart know that they are not alone. The neutrally colored rut finds us all and the multicolored blues takes victims relentlessly. But these color-stained feelings and pitfalls are not forever.

Perhaps tomorrow you and I both will wake up feeling more refreshed and motivated than we have in months and conquer quite literally everything in our paths. And that is a reason to go to sleep, wake up, and try again. Again and again. This and only this is obligatory.

IF YOU OR SOMEONE YOU KNOW ARE STRUGGLING WITH SUICIDAL THOUGHTS AND/OR TENDENCIES, REACH OUT IMMEDIATELY. NO ONE SHOULD GO THROUGH THIS ALONE. SUICIDE IS SERIOUS.

National Suicide Hotline: 1 (800) 273-8255 - available 24/7