Conflict is inevitable. It's a part of life that we all have to deal with. No matter who we are or who we're friends with, we're bound to run into conflict at some point in our lives. It simply cannot be avoided.

Typically, the best solution to conflict is to make peace with the other person. In the end, staying upset with someone doesn't help - it's self-destructive. It's just better to reconcile and find peace with the other person.

Unfortunately, a lot of people, including myself, can become confused with what it means to make peace. I'm here to remind us all that making peace does NOT equal causing a scene. Let me explain.

The way a lot of people choose to deal with conflict is to deal with it in an immature, unkind manner and to call it "making peace." Confronting someone in an accusatory manner is NOT making peace. Pointing the finger, name-calling, playing the victim, and exaggerating the facts is NOT making peace. Making peace is NOT throwing a pity party and spouting off lies in order to get the other person to apologize. Wanting to "win" the argument is also not making peace. On the contrary, all of these approaches to conflict only make the situation worse, cause more hurt to the other person, and deepen the conflict.

The healthy way to solve conflict is to actually make peace. Rather than creating more drama, we should solve a conflict by simply going to the person in a calm spirit seeking a kind, non-judgmental, honest conversation. Instead of telling the person exactly why they are wrong and how they should fix it, we should focus instead on how the conflict has made us feel, and how we want to move forward.

I've been on both sides of a scene labeled "making peace," and neither side is fun. It's no fun to make a stink about something that should be smoothed over, no matter how satisfying it feels to win an argument. It's also very hurtful when someone tries to "make peace" with me by telling me how much of a horrible person I am and refusing to hear my side of the story. I've also been involved in conflicts that have been resolved in the right way, and my friendships with those people are a lot stronger because of the way the conflict was handled.

In every conflict, we should make it our goal to smooth things over and reconcile with the person. People are far more important than "winning" an argument or making your point painfully clear. Next time you're involved in a conflict, take the high road and make peace the right way.