I think everyone can relate to this situation: you're being forced to play an ice-breaker game, and whoever's leading the activity tells you to think of three facts about yourself that you can share with the group. They don't mean facts like your age or your birthday, either--they mean interesting facts, like how many musical instruments you can play or whether or not you're double-jointed. And while you're racking your brain, trying to think of something to say, you're probably asking yourself this question: Who am I?

I've found that most of the time when people can't think of anything to say in the heat of the moment, they say something like, "I don't know. I'm pretty boring." That's what I usually resort to, as well. The thing is, I feel this way a lot, and it's not because I think I'm all that boring. I just genuinely don't know who I am. Right now, I'm trying to think of ways I could describe myself to a complete stranger. I can think of physical things--short hair, average height, slight build--but nothing deeper than that. Writing a bio is one of my least favourite activities, because I can't think of anything to write. Who am I? What do I enjoy doing? Do I actually enjoy anything?

When I sat down for an internship interview before I started my senior year of high school, the woman interviewing me told me to tell her about myself. I was visibly taken aback--my eyes were wide, my jaw dropped a little bit, the whole nine yards. She hadn't asked about my academic performance, or how I'd gotten into the program I needed internship hours for. She was asking me about the kind of person I was, and if I would be a good candidate for that particular location. "I, uh, well...I'm seventeen...I'm in high school...." I didn't have anything else. What else could I say? I hadn't prepared to tell her anything about me.

There comes a point in most everyone's life when they become aware of the fact that they are a person. They are someone's son, cousin, friend, or worst enemy. They are someone who occupies not only physical space, but the space in other people's minds. I realised this years ago, but it wasn't exactly a lasting discovery. It still comes as a surprise to me that other people not only think about me, but can place certain attributes to me, and have an idea of who I am as a person. I exist in my friends' minds, even when I'm not physically there, but I don't know who they think I am.

Part of not having a stable internal identity is acting differently around different people. Obviously, everyone does this to a certain extent. The way you would act around your professor is not how you would act around your mother, and the way you would talk to your friend is not the way you'd interact with your boss. What I'm talking about is adopting a different way of speaking and acting for pretty much everyone you come in contact with. It's suddenly noticing you've picked up a certain phrase, mannerism, or character trait and wondering if you developed it on your own, or if you absorbed it from someone you know or someone you saw on television.

Sometimes it's unsettling to go through life not knowing who I am. My opinions or perceptions of certain things are altered without warning. There are times when I don't feel like a real person at all. I can tell when I'm not acting "like myself," but there's nothing I can do about it. It's difficult to explain this to anyone without using an excuse like, "I'm just feeling off today," or the aforementioned, "I don't know, I guess I'm just pretty boring." Ultimately, all I can do is try to figure out how I see myself and hope that it's what everyone else can see, too.