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What If Fraternity Rush Was Done Like Sorority Recruitment

Jan 22, 2015

Phi Psi Ohio University

Would men go through rush if they had to spend a week dressing up, walking from house to house and "speed dating" with other men?

Day 1: Open House Round Dude, I could care less about your high school extra circulars on the debate team or the soccer team. The real question is how well can you hold your liquor? Have you ever played tipy cup? Do you have a girlfriend? Don't bring her with you to college, way too many hot girls.

Day 2: Philanthropy Day Yeah we help little kids and old people like once a year. Anyways, glad the creepy mouth breather didn't come back; what a geed. How has it only been an hour? The Rush Chair will not shut the hell up about philanthropy. They get it dude. You’re making us look like a bottom tier, sexless, boring house of nerds.

Day 3: House Tours This is where we eat drunk bowls of cereal at 3 a.m. That’s the couch a senior screwed on the first day of his freshman year. Twice. This is the room we pretend to study in around the Academic Chair. God the kid who claims his mom as his best friend just walked in. Took the Rush Chair about 30 seconds to lead him back to the door. And back to the dorms he goes.

Day 4: Pref Day Thank God. Finally the last damn day of rush. Can we get this shit over with and get back to drinking? The house looks like shit after the totally IFC legal-ran party last night. Looks like the new pledges have a lot of work to do tomorrow. Morale has dropped considerably and the Rush Chair won’t shut up about giving in. If they came back today that means they’re not total pussies. This last day couldn’t go on any longer, seriously has it been a freaking year yet?

Day 5: Bid Day Finally, we made it. Longest “alcohol-free” week of my life. Okay, so we got drunk every night after the freshmen left. But we could have been drinking all day if it weren’t for this shit. Point is we got pledges again. A solid group of them. Solid enough to clean up this s#*t hole and DD for the first party of the year. Welcome home pledges.

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The Best Lines from the Fab Four

And in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make

The sun is up, the sky is blue, it's beautiful and so are you

Love is old, love is new, love is all, love is you

There's nowhere you can be that isn't where you're meant to be

Life is very short, and there's no time for fussing and fighting, my friend

He say, "I know you, you know me", One thing I can tell you is you got to be free

Oh please, say to me, You'll let me be your man. And please say to me, You'll let me hold your hand

It was twenty years ago today, Sgt. Pepper taught the band to play. They've been going in and out of style, but they're guaranteed to raise a smile

Living is easy with eyes closed, misunderstanding all you see

Can you hear me? When it rains and shine, it's just a state of mind

Little darling, it's been long cold lonely winter. Little darling, it feels like years since it' s been here. Here comes the sun, Here comes the sun, and I say it's alright

We danced through the night and we held each other tight, and before too long I fell in love with her. Now, I'll never dance with another when I saw her standing there

I love you, I love you, I love you, that's all I want to say

You say you want a revolution. Well you know, we all want to change the world

All the lonely people, where do they all come from. All the lonely people, where do they all belong

Oh, I get by with a little help from my friends

Hey Jude, don't make it bad. Take a sad song and make it better

Yesterday, all my troubles seemed so far away. Now it looks as though they're here to stay. Oh, I believe in yesterday

And when the brokenhearted people, living in the world agree, there will be an answer, let it be.

And anytime you feel the pain, Hey Jude, refrain. Don't carry the world upon your shoulders

I'll give you all I got to give if you say you'll love me too. I may not have a lot to give but what I got I'll give to you. I don't care too much for money. Money can't buy me love

All you need is love, love is all you need

Whisper words of wisdom, let it be

Blackbird singing in the dead of night, Take these broken wings and learn to fly. All your life, You were only waiting for this moment to arise

Though I know I'll never lose affection, for people and things that went before. I know I'll often stop and think about them. In my life, I love you more

Obviously the best superpower.

There have been many lessons learned.

1. The importance of traditions.

2. How to be thankful for family and friends.

3. How to give back.

4. What the word "community" really means.

5. That it isn't about the destination, but the journey.

6. The consequences of making bad choices.

7. To trust people, until you have a reason not to.

8. To be welcoming and accepting of everyone.

9. How to be my own, individual person.

10. How to work for what I want.

11. How to be great at giving directions.

12. How to be humble.

13. To be well-rounded.

14. How to be great at conflict resolution.

15. The beauty of getting outside and exploring.

16. To be prepared for anything.

17. That you don't always have to do it alone.

18. How to be creative.

19. To brush off gossip.

I have never been so thankful to know you.

Dealing with the inevitable realities of college life.

Don't freak out

Email the professor

Attend the first class

Keep attending class

Have a backup plan

Remember that everything works out at the end

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