I have been an anxious kid since I was quite young. I didn’t know it was called anxiety back then, but I knew how it felt. I knew the gut wrenching feeling and the overwhelming sensation too well. I convinced myself that it was normal to throw up for the first week of school during lunch up until I moved school districts in second grade. My anxiety was dormant for some time — I pushed it in the back of my mind. However, once high school came around my anxiety came back out to play.

Drowning on Dry Land

"What does it feel like to have anxiety?" This is the main question most people ask. It's different for everyone. There isn't a cookie cutter in grandma’s kitchen that is for Anxiety. For myself, I think of it as there's an anchor on my ankle that is dragging me down- slowly. I always feel a bit anxious but there's a time where the anchor hits the bottom and I still want to tread water but can't get up. You see where there might be a bit of a problem.

For the physical symptoms, I feel my chest tighten and I can't breathe. To keep the sea analogy going, it's as if I got caught under the anchor. I start to panic and hyperventilate. I sob. I tend to not eat since it's hard to.

For intangible symptoms: My thoughts churn at a fast pace and it's as if I lost control of myself. All positive thoughts quickly dissipate into negative currents.

However, not everyone experiences the same reaction nor response to anxiety. What I'm trying to make you understand is that anxiety isn't just for the "quiet girl that's looming in the bookstore or the coffee shop" like Hollywood and sappy YA authors make it out to be. Anxiety has no bias and happens to even the happiest of people.

Screw Stereotypes

What people tend to forget is that anxiety isn't just "oh boy I'm stressed out before this giant test." It's "Oh s**t! Life! Ah! What's going on?? I don't know how to breathe??? What is hunger?? S A D N E S S! PANIC!!! cry cry cry!" And a lot of self-doubt — sometimes due to triggers or just out of the blue. It doesn't have to meet the one stereotype that stems from film and literature.

A few of my closest friends suffer from the same issue; they are all people you wouldn’t expect to have suffered from it because they have overcome the disease. They don’t let it define them anymore. They have learned to reign it and control their outbreaks, whether that has to deal with a creative outlet (dance, writing, music, drawing, etc), working out, or medication. No matter the solution, they were strong enough to talk to someone in order to help them get back on the right track.

A very good friend of mine explained anxiety in a great way: "Anxiety is not some outside source with power." Often times people who have anxiety decide to use it as a scapegoat or an enemy. Eventually, you come to realize that it doesn't have any power over you. You realize how to react to everyday situations and adapt. A big problem people have is that they view anxiety as a self-fulfilling prophecy and bashing the thought into their heads when they need to strategize the next move to overcome the anxiety. Once you realize that, life gets a lot better.

Tell someone!

I will never forget how hard it was to tell the closest people in my life at first. I opened up to my boyfriend in the back lobby of his residence hall. Kids around us were having a NERF gun war and others were watching hockey while I was sobbing into my boyfriend’s chest. I thought I was messed up - I was broken. I was ashamed, embarrassed. I was so terrified that I would be looked at as a different girl than the one he fell in love with. However, that wasn't the case. As I eventually learned from everyone I told, there wasn't something wrong with me. I was going to be okay but it was going to take a lot of strength and support to get through it. I wasn’t a different girl, I was just about to realize how much stronger I actually am.

What to take away from this?

• You are going to be OK — tell someone how you are feeling
• Don't be ashamed or embarrassed that you might have to take medicine or seek professional help
• Seek positive constructive ways to relieve your anxiety- pets, volunteering, music, art, writing, baking, cooking, working out, etc. Find the things you love and do it
• Don't be afraid to tell someone. They will still love you and accept you as you are. If they don't — screw them.
• Remember that your anxiety isn't some self-fulfilling prophecy — you have control of your life
• Disclaimer: This article isn't supposed to be a blanket statement for anxiety: it's simply one about my personal struggle with anxiety. It's an article to help with those struggling and those who are trying to understand if they don't personally have anxiety.