Girls, Your Happiness Shouldn't Be Determined By Your Looks Or Weight On A Scale

Girls, Your Happiness Shouldn't Be Determined By Your Looks Or Weight On A Scale

I am quite disappointed that a person with that level of intelligence and wisdom was unable to comprehend that my life is centered around much more than just continually worrying about what I weigh or how I look.

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I've been trying to think about what I should write about, and I thought back to what pushed me to speak out about fatphobia in the first place. Last year for my high school senior project I was told that I could choose any topic of my choice. I thought about what topic I was interested in enough to research about for months. While the idea of fat-phobia did come to mind at moments, I was hesitant to choose that as a topic. I didn't know if I had it within me to talk about my biggest obstacle in front of all my classmates. But this instance was what pushed me over that edge and motivated me to speak out, and for that, I am eternally grateful.

It was December of my senior year that I went to visit my doctor. About halfway into the appointment, we started talking about my weight. That was not unexpected. I was at the doctor's after all. But what was surprising was a question that she had asked me. While talking about my weight, my doctor had asked me, "Lasya, tell me, are you really happy with yourself." Under the impression that she was asking me about how I was feeling about myself in general, I was about to start talking about how I could've started college apps way before instead of procrastinating. It then hit me that she wasn't asking me about whether I was happy about the whole me, but that she was just asking about the part that she could see, whether I was truly happy being a fat girl. At the moment I felt flustered and shocked. I couldn't even piece together any response. After I came home, I realized that she was under the impression that as a teenage girl my happiness is mainly derived from my looks or my weight, but she was wrong.

My happiness is not derived by some number on a scale that fluctuates on a daily basis. My happiness is derived from the quality of the relationships that I have with the people in my life. My happiness is derived from seeing the people I love smile and laugh. My happiness is derived from writing with new fountain pens or finishing another episode of Criminal Minds. My happiness is derived from completing a piece of crochet work or typing a sentence on my typewriter. My happiness is derived from all these things, but it is most definitely not derived from some number on a scale. And to be honest, I am quite disappointed that a person with that level of intelligence and wisdom was unable to comprehend that my life is centered around much more than just continually worrying about what I weigh or how I look.

To be clear, this post is not about me bashing on my doctor for what she said. This post is about me talking about her statement and what was wrong with it so that we can all learn from it. This post is about learning that happiness cannot, and should not, be based on superficial things like looks and weight. If it were, we could never be happy or at peace with our selves. It is even possible that my doctor did not mean to say the statement in this context. She could have meant to say something that had a completely different message but was unable to communicate it with me properly. Anything could have been possible, and we will never know unless I confront her about this. But I cannot because I am too much of a coward to ask her about this in person.

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30 Things I'd Rather Be Than 'Pretty'

Because "pretty" is so overrated.
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Nowadays, we put so much emphasis on our looks. We focus so much on the outside that we forget to really focus on what matters. I was inspired by a list that I found online of "Things I Would Rather Be Called Instead Of Pretty," so I made my own version. Here is a list of things that I would rather be than "pretty."

1. Captivating

I want one glance at me to completely steal your breath away.

2. Magnetic

I want people to feel drawn to me. I want something to be different about me that people recognize at first glance.

3. Raw

I want to be real. Vulnerable. Completely, genuinely myself.

4. Intoxicating

..and I want you addicted.

5. Humble

I want to recognize my abilities, but not be boastful or proud.

6. Exemplary

I want to stand out.

7. Loyal

I want to pride myself on sticking out the storm.

8. Fascinating

I want you to be hanging on every word I say.

9. Empathetic

I want to be able to feel your pain, so that I can help you heal.

10. Vivacious

I want to be the life of the party.

11. Reckless

I want to be crazy. Thrilling. Unpredictable. I want to keep you guessing, keep your heart pounding, and your blood rushing.

12. Philanthropic

I want to give.

13. Philosophical

I want to ask the tough questions that get you thinking about the purpose of our beating hearts.

14. Loving

When my name is spoken, I want my tenderness to come to mind.

15. Quaintrelle

I want my passion to ooze out of me.

16. Belesprit

I want to be quick. Witty. Always on my toes.

17. Conscientious

I want to always be thinking of others.

18. Passionate

...and I want people to know what my passions are.

19. Alluring

I want to be a woman who draws people in.

20. Kind

Simply put, I want to be pleasant and kind.

21. Selcouth

Even if you've known me your whole life, I want strange, yet marvelous. Rare and wondrous.

22. Pierian

From the way I move to the way I speak, I want to be poetic.

23. Esoteric

Do not mistake this. I do not want to be misunderstood. But rather I'd like to keep my circle small and close. I don't want to be an average, everyday person.

24. Authentic

I don't want anyone to ever question whether I am being genuine or telling the truth.

25. Novaturient

..about my own life. I never want to settle for good enough. Instead I always want to seek to make a positive change.

26. Observant

I want to take all of life in.

27. Peart

I want to be honestly in good spirits at all times.

28. Romantic

Sure, I want to be a little old school in this sense.

29. Elysian

I want to give you the same feeling that you get in paradise.

30. Curious

And I never want to stop searching for answers.
Cover Image Credit: Favim

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It's 2019, Can We Stop Talking About Women's Bodies

With all of our problems in the world, why do we still body shame women.

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I'm sure you've heard everything! I'm sure you've heard the screams of women over analyzing the media for shaming our bodies. While there is shaming in the media, our bodies shouldn't be the focus of our world now. Our society is going through some major problems that our beauty and vanity shouldn't be the forefront of everything we see. Women have been expected to look a certain way since the dawn of our conception. I feel like our health, life and political standing are more important than the color that should be on the lips and cheeks of our face. I'd rather be able to go to the doctor without fear of not being heard then learn how to contour my face into oblivion.

Growing up, I had both skinny and plus-sized girlfriends. Did I have that toxic mindset that they were better than me because they were either skinnier than I or had better breast and butt sizes, yes I did and I hate myself for it. I was the troll back in the Myspace days telling skinny girls to eat a cheeseburger and the plus sized girls that they need to eat more salad. Looking back, I was a terrible human to my own gender. I was that normal sized girl (by today's standards) with some fat to keep me warm in the winter (nonexistent in FLORIDA). I also had my friends that would troll other girls because of their own insecurities and jealousy. That is not how we should treat other girls.

The fact that we have more rights and positions then we've had over the past 100 years and we still feel the need to judge ourselves and others still makes us primitive. Throughout history, women have been regarded as either property or as goddesses. Us being goddesses needs to make a comeback. I'm so thankful that we are considering ourselves goddesses because that will inspire girls to do whatever they want. Nowadays girls are learning traditionally male careers at an early age and that's a great step towards equality.

Women shouldn't be known for their bodies and should be known for our accomplishments. Body shaming is archaic and has no position in today's society. Just because a woman wears a size 00 or 22, it doesn't limit our capabilities. A woman wearing a 00 can accomplish learning computer code as same as a woman wearing a size 18. Women's sizing also isn't regulated because a size 12 can be the same as a size 14 in different brands.

If we are going to be continued to be known for our bodies, it looks like we need to stand up for our health. To be able to have a safe abortion, a judge-free hysterectomy or mastectomy would do our world a lot of good. I would rather have a woman get the right healthcare SAFELY then hear about another woman dying because of medical malpractice due to an under the table procedure. Our bodies have every right to have a necessary or wanted procedure to help us feel healthy in both body and mind. For those who continue to judge...It's none of your business.
So ladies...
.

.

you are capable, creative, intelligent, beautiful and WHATEVER YOU WANT TO BE!

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