I've barely entered adulthood yet and I'm already pressured with this lifetime commitment.

"When will you have kids?"

"How many are you thinking of having?"

"What will you name your son/daughter?"

I understand they're just free flowing questions that hold no ground because it's up in the air for discussion, but it's still an awful feeling to drown in. There is no question such as "Do you want kids?" because it's assumed that I do and that I will. I'm not sure if it's being rebellious against society or just because I don't think I have maternal instincts, but being a mother has never been my top priority.

I know what you're thinking--a lot of women's top priority isn't to have children. However, when they're planning their future, they have already picked out the names and the number of kids they will be birthing. When I look into my future, I don't quite see children in it because I'm not sure if it's what I want in my life.

I'm not necessarily giving up on the idea of having children of my own someday, but there are so many more things I would rather do with my life. I know that sounds awful and it may be a little selfish, but it's only honestly served on a platter. I want to explore the world while I'm still young and my hair is still full instead of dull and gray. I want to become successful in my career and not have to worry about finding a babysitter or having to go to “little Tommy's school” because he misbehaved in class.

I know they say that women have all the time in the world to decide when they're ready but we don’t. We have a biological ticking time bomb in our wombs that will only let us have children up to around the age of forty...if we’re lucky. So I don't have all the time in the world and there is so much more to do with my life before I turn forty.

I honestly get so tense when the baby question comes up because I'm not even legal to casually have a drink at a bar, yet the idea of motherhood accentuates into everyday vocabulary as if it isn't a big deal. It is a huge deal, and girls my age should be taught that. They shouldn't just be taught that motherhood is the “most wonderful thing” and it's filled with love and laughter and kisses.

Yes. All that good stuff comes with motherhood, from what I’ve heard from actual mothers, but there is so much more that tags along. There are the long hours you will spend awake making sure that baby doesn't die in their sleep, and you will only breathe gently when you know that child is in your arms. You will work endlessly to support your child with food, shelter, hygiene, love, toys, and anything else your baby screams for in the middle of a supermarket. There are mothers who do go back to school and get a career. Those women are the exception and usually it’s because they have a good support system. However, there are many girls who only have themselves by the time they're sixteen years old and knocked up.

We all know there will always be those who say "she should have kept her legs closed" or "she should have been on birth control," but there are so many young women who do not know these things. It isn't because they're being promiscuous or rebellious, it's because they were never taught this. They don't have a strong foundation to fall on. They don't have a support system to teach them right from wrong. They are only taught what is expected from them from society and what they learn on TV: please men, get married, have children, and if you have time after that, get a part-time job.

So I guess where I stand is that I'm a young woman who wants to fight against what society expects of me and I want other young women to know they can do the same. Ladies, you do not have to have children because it is what's expected of you. You were made free and beautiful: free to choose and too beautiful to have to sacrifice. When you are ready to sacrifice, it should never feel like a sacrifice because it was out of free-will. Until then, remember that all those phrases that get stuck in your head from repeated conversations should not affect your judgement.

As a young woman who is still unable to find myself truly, I appreciate the sacrifice and the devotion mothers, especially my loving mother, have for their young children. As a young woman, however, I should not be coerced to have to decide when I want to settle down. Neither should you strong-fierce women.