We're Not Friends, But That Doesn't Mean We're Enemies

We're Not Friends, But That Doesn't Mean We're Enemies

Sometimes the people who left know when you're in trouble.

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So let me tell you a story.

Once upon a time, I had this friend who was close to me, who helped me through some really difficult things, mentally. She understood my struggles and let me rant and yell in her living room for the longest time before settling down to talk me through what we were going to do.

This friend of mine is no longer my friend. I have one way to access her and still refuse to do so out of sheer principle. I am not her friend and she is not mine, and we have resolved that it is better that way. But for some reason, I still want the absolute best for her.

Just because I'm not her friend, doesn't make me her enemy.

I don't like to say I hate people. I don't like to leave things unresolved and I despise having bad blood with people who could otherwise be just fine on their own. This girl and I had some bad blood that wasn't going to get resolved quickly, so we separated ways. We were horrible for each other, encouraged each other's bad thoughts and mannerisms.

Bad things are happening in this girl's life that she doesn't see. But I do. My friends do, co-workers see it and yet, she is blind. It makes me feel physically sick knowing that she won't listen to me if I tell her what I know, what everyone knows. She wouldn't believe me if I told her the stories I've heard from other people.

Why does not being friends automatically make me your enemy?

Is it so hard to believe that I'm not as bad of a person that you'd like me to be? That I would want to see you happy, even if you're not in my life?

I've made some bad decisions in my life that you, no doubt, judge me for. You, no doubt, hate me by now and don't trust me. You think me mean and manipulative or whatever adjective you want. But there's this thing that I have called common decency that hates to see other people torn down at the roots.

Remember, sometimes the person that left your life left for a reason.

Maybe they knew your relationship, whether romantic or not, was toxic and refused to direct negative energy at you or at themselves. Sometimes there are underlying meanings and sometimes there aren't, but if they come back and tell you that you are in harm's way and have evidence of the fact, you might want to listen. Not all of us wear devil horns for the fun.

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21 Things You Say To Your Roommate If You Two Are Practically A Married Couple

Until I made this list, I didn't realize how absurdly close my roommate and I were. #sorrynotsorry
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Let's be real: you and your roommate have said these things at least one to each other.

1. "Can you turn the light off?"

2. "We probably shouldn't go out for dinner again...right?"

*Complains about not having money* *Spends $8 on Chipotle three times a week*

3. "I always pick where we go"

This is a fight you have with your roommate almost every day when you're roommate is as indecisive as mine.

4. "Do you have my keys?"

5. "Can you pick me up?"

6. "Is it hot in here?"

7. "Does this outfit look stupid?"

The answer is usually yes. No offense.

8. "Can you throw this out for me?"

9. "Can we get ice cream?"

10. "I need coffee."

This text is usually sent when you know your roomie is out running errands... errands you know are near a Starbucks.

11. "Can you tell me what happened?"

12. "Are you asleep?"

There have been times where I couldn't tell if you were asleep or dead... and I had to say this out loud to check if you were alive.

13. "Check your DM's."

*Cracks up in the middle of nowhere* *Catches a weird stare from your roomie across the room*

14. "Can you plug this in for me?"

15. "Can you pick a movie?"

Another instance where "I always pick" happens.

16. "Look at this girl's Instagram."

*Chucks phone across the room at roommate*

17. "Can you call me?"

18. "Can we meet up?"

19. "Can you help me find my phone?"

*Tries to leave the house to do something* *Loses phone* Every. Time.

20. "What should we do tonight?"

*Tries to get ready to do something fun* *Ends up staying in for another girls' night*

21. "Why isn't everyone as great as us?"

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Cover Image Credit: Juliarose Genuardi

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To My Long-Distance Best Friend, We Might Be 7,811 Miles Apart, But Our Friendship Only Gets Stronger

It breaks my heart that I cannot be around for your birthdays or to celebrate your achievements. But I'm so proud of every milestone you achieve. I am so proud of all your accomplishments and the person you are becoming.

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To my best friend,

It has been 270 days since I last met you and 206 more days until I meet you again. People say that time flies by quickly, but these have been the most difficult days that seemed to drag on forever. Five years ago when you were sitting next to me on the first day of our sociology class, I had no idea we would end up being best friends. From sharing my mother's parathas during lunch breaks to the countless sleepovers, I will never forget all the memories we created throughout high school.

I vividly remember the day I told you I would be studying abroad. You were so happy and proud of me for pursuing my dreams but also upset that we wouldn't be seeing each other every now and then. I was worried if our friendship would even last. But we have spent almost two years away from each other and our friendship only seems to get stronger.

I'm so grateful to technology for allowing us to be in touch all the time. My day doesn't feel complete if I do not receive a text from you. I know we do not video call often because of how busy our schedules are (another reason being time zones suck and I cannot do the math), but always know that I am there for you. It breaks my heart that I cannot be around for your birthdays or to celebrate your achievements. But I'm so proud of every milestone you achieve. I am so proud of all your accomplishments and the person you are becoming.

We have both had some terrible friendship experiences in our past before we met each other that have completely broken our faith in friendships. But know that you can always count on me and that I will never leave your side. Know that I will always set an alarm early in the morning just to video call you. Know that I will always be there for you (even if I'm not physically present around you). Know that you will always be the first person I share everything with.

I cannot thank you enough for everything you have done for me. Thank you for encouraging me to make new friends at college. Thank you for always being there during my failures and reminding me that it's not the end of the world and that more opportunities will come my way. Thank you for being there during my successes and being my number one cheerleader. Thank you for always reminding me to love myself. You not only have a special place in my heart but also have a special place in my family. My mother and sister are not only glad that I have a best friend like you but also adore you so much. It is impossible to imagine a life without you.

I cannot wait for more butter chicken sleepover dates in December!

Lots of love,

Your best friend.

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