Superstition. A seemingly abstract concept that affects everyone in different ways. For some, it drives their every action, thought, and feeling. For others, it's an unnatural mindset that should be ignored. Then there’s everyone in between, who view it as either something or nothing of importance. Like most people, I sit in the middle. I don’t view it as a way of life. I am conscious that it is an abstract concept -- I regard it as “superstition,” not life. Yet I am heavily inclined to believe that there are forces beyond my control that aren't necessarily spiritual or biblical.

By definition, superstition is an “excessively credulous belief in and reverence for supernatural beings” (Google Search). I was shocked by how biased this definition was. Even the synonyms degrade it: fallacy, humbug, and hooey. I had to look the last one up; hooey means nonsense. According to Google, superstition is undeniably fictitious, and if you believe in it, your beliefs are false. I decided to look up a parallel concept: religion, or “the belief in and worship of a superhuman controlling power, especially a personal God or gods” (Google Search). There is no bias here, yet the two concepts are arguably very similar. They revolve around believing in things we can’t see.

Yet believing in superstition historically got you burned to death, or at the very least ostracized. Don’t get me wrong -- religion has had its ups and downs in history. Yet for the most part, as long as you worship the “right” deity, you are in the clear. Say you believe in God and people won’t question it. You might get some backlash from non-believers, but the possible existence of a God isn’t considered to be a taboo concept.

Now contrast that with some common superstitious beliefs. As a superstitious person, I believe heavily that walking under a ladder and breaking mirrors are big no-nos. I have vivid memories of my sister opening an umbrella inside the house, to my horror. I also remember the subsequent verbal dismissal I received from my stepfather -- despite the fact that opening an umbrella indoors can be realistically dangerous.

However, I have no memory of where this intense belief system came from. I have a pretty faulty memory, so it's really not surprising. I know it began sometime around middle school. Every year since then, the 13th day of the month, if it happened to fall on a Friday, became an intense source of anxiety.

Part of me knows that I give these things power. Yet telling myself “it’s all in my head” doesn’t do much either. This past Halloween, I was able to have my fortune read by someone who’s been doing it for eight years, having been taught by his Polish grandmother.

He started with my friend, yet revealed halfway through the reading that it applied to all three of us who were present because we were all sitting across from him. I sat, mesmerized by the whole thing. I couldn’t help the connections my brain made throughout the whole thing. To me, it all made sense.

My friend, who sat directly across from him, and guided the reading, was “just kinda interested in what he’d say.” Next, I asked for a private reading. He immediately asked if something, in particular, was bothering me, which was true -- I had been thinking about asking him something specific the whole time.

Out of respect for my privacy, he made my friends leave the room while we started. It reminded me of a therapy session, yet I felt less uncomfortable with this random stranger than I did with my therapist. As he led me through my fortune, my heart and mind were both racing, and the "X-Files" theme song kept playing in my head. I absorbed everything he said to me -- and since then, I’ve actually called back on the reading to direct my choices.

Conversely, my boyfriend, who went next, said, “I thought what he was saying was relatable […] my mind was just adding the details to make it seem specific to me. So I guess I didn't really take it to heart.”

Superstition. Even I will admit it’s a weird concept. Yet its presence in my life is undeniable. From fortune telling to black cats, to Bigfoot and ghosts, to wearing a pair of orange underwear I swear brings me good luck during every test and Giants baseball game -- superstition is a part of my life that will always affect me, no matter if I stop believing in it all. As the popular catchphrase goes, “I want to believe.” And thus I will.