Right now, someone is contemplating suicide. They're about to end it all.
Across town, one family doesn't know if they can handle their schizophrenic son's hallucinations anymore.
One girl in school is suffering from anorexia and despite her ability to "look good" this upcoming summer, it doesn't quite make up for the self-loathing that is tearing her mind and body apart.
The radiant man who always puts a smile on your face is going through a major depression; he isn't suicidal, but he lacks the ability to get out of bed in the morning. The sun simply doesn't shine for him.
And to these people, what can we possibly say?
It'll get better?
Hang in there?
God has a plan for you?
Not that there is anything wrong with those comments, we're all just doing our best to understand a situation that, quite frankly, we do not. But "it'll get better" is what your mom tells you when you get a scrape on your knee in first grade after you fall on the playground, not something that should be said to someone whose cuts are now self-inflicted wounds.
"Hang in there" is what you say when your little sister is sick with a cold and is cuddled up with a blanket watching her favorite movies, not what you say to the same girl who is now purposely vomiting away her anxiety and insides.
"God has a plan for you" isn't quite the best thing to say to the man that barely has the motivation to brush his teeth much less devote himself to the complexity of a higher power.
In the end, words don't mean much. Words won't cure mental illnesses. Words are simply a courtesy…
Actions are what make the world go 'round.
So, if you see someone your following on Twitter post something that raises your eyebrows, message them. Whether you know them or not, whether you aren't sure if those are just song lyrics or not, whether they're overdramatic or not — just message them. Check in on them. If they aren't going through anything, at least they're comforted by the knowledge that someone is there if they are.
If they are going through something, now they have a possible outlet. And when they text you repeatedly or call you in the dead of the night when all you want to do is sleep your life away, answer them. They need you.
If someone you know hasn't been acting themselves and you aren't ready to upright confront them, then indirectly comfort them. Hang out with them, be real with them, hold them a little closer and love them a little deeper. And when the timing is right, ask them if everything is going alright. Maybe they won't tell you the truth, but maybe you'll also be healing them in the process.
And please, if you know for a fact that something is wrong but the person won't say it outright, tell somebody. You know why?
Because a mom shouldn't have to come home and find her child dead.
A brother shouldn't find his sister shaking and bawling her eyes out after sitting over the toilet for a period of time.
And possibly most importantly,
A community shouldn't only realize the depth and seriousness of mental illness until after a tragedy has occurred — we should be preventing it.
And for those of you who think, "it isn't any of my business?" To that I laugh.
If you can run your mouth about Jenny's sex life, then you should be able to tell her mom that her daughter is on the edge.
At the end of the day, just be aware. This doesn't just happen in movies or TV shows like 13 Reasons Why. This is happening all around you. There are people who are crying, even screaming for help and feel like no one can hear them. Perk up your ears a little bit higher and open your eyes a little bit wider.
Also, realize that mental illness doesn't stop at suicide — or any of the few that I briefly touched upon in this article. There's a plethora of disorders that effect many people differently. No one expects you to study the signs of every single one, so when all is said and done, just be a friend. Everyone could use a good one nowadays, right?
Adolescent Suicide Hotline: 800-621-4000
CHADD-Children & Adults with Attention Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder: 1-800-233-4050
National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI): 1-800-950-NAMI (6264)
Panic Disorder Information Hotline: 800- 64-PANIC
Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-TALK
Suicide & Crisis Hotline: 1-800-999-9999
Suicide Prevention - The Trevor HelpLine (Specializing in gay and lesbian youth suicide prevention): 1-800-850-8078
Teen Helpline: 1-800-400-0900
For more hotlines that may better fit your situation, please click here.
